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Category: Breaking

MOONSPELL: ‘Far From God’ Album Drops in July, Title Track Comes to Save Your Soul (or Not) Later This Month
Breaking, Music News

MOONSPELL: ‘Far From God’ Album Drops in July, Title Track Comes to Save Your Soul (or Not) Later This Month

Chord F. DiscordMarch 8, 2026March 8, 2026

Portuguese gothic metal band MOONSPELL announces new album “Far From God” — and no, they’re not starting a podcast about…

Summer Game Fest Gets Invaded by the Sassy Gayming Pride Parade of Rainbow Controllers and Glittery Graphics Cards!
Gayming Foundation Goes All Out With Virtual Pride Parade, Because Why Not?
Breaking, Games News

Summer Game Fest Gets Invaded by the Sassy Gayming Pride Parade of Rainbow Controllers and Glittery Graphics Cards!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 8, 2026March 8, 2026

Move over, boring corporate Pride sponsorships — the Gayming Foundation is here to flex its rainbow muscles with the Gayming…

BRENT SMITH Confirms SHINEDOWN’s ‘Ei8ht’ Album Is So Long, It’s Basically a Double Record — Strap In for an Epic Marathon Listening Session!
Breaking, Music News

BRENT SMITH Confirms SHINEDOWN’s ‘Ei8ht’ Album Is So Long, It’s Basically a Double Record — Strap In for an Epic Marathon Listening Session!

Chord F. DiscordMarch 8, 2026March 8, 2026

Oh, look, it’s Brent Smith, back with another record that probably took longer to name than to write 🎤. The…

Kouri Richins’ Murder Trial: The Cliff Notes Version of a Trainwreck Divorce with a Side of Scandal and Debt!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Kouri Richins’ Murder Trial: The Cliff Notes Version of a Trainwreck Divorce with a Side of Scandal and Debt!

Big ElephantMarch 8, 2026March 8, 2026

Democrats’ Latest Scandal: Liberal Mom Poisons Husband for Fentanyl-Fueled Affair In a shocking display of liberal depravity, a Utah mother…

Energy Secretary Chris Wright vows gas prices will plummet: ‘This is a weeks… not a months thing.’ — because who needs months when you’ve got magic?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Energy Secretary Chris Wright vows gas prices will plummet: ‘This is a weeks… not a months thing.’ — because who needs months when you’ve got magic?

Big ElephantMarch 8, 2026March 8, 2026

Energy Secretary Chris Wright Promises Quick Relief at the Pump as Trump’s America Takes Charge In a stunning display of…

GOP Commentator finds WH videos comparing Iran war to games ‘kind of gross’—because apparently, war isn’t supposed to be *entertaining* or something.
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Commentator finds WH videos comparing Iran war to games ‘kind of gross’—because apparently, war isn’t supposed to be *entertaining* or something.

Big ElephantMarch 8, 2026March 8, 2026

OMG, the libs are freaking out again! This time they’re clutching their pearls over some totally harmless White House videos…

Sen. Murphy throws a fit: “Unforgivable under any circumstances” because apparently, the US is always the bad guy
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Sen. Murphy throws a fit: “Unforgivable under any circumstances” because apparently, the US is always the bad guy

Big ElephantMarch 8, 2026March 8, 2026

Democrats Demand Answers as Iran School Attack Mystery Deepens When a school in Iran gets hit and hundreds of kids…

The Boys: Season Who Even Cares Anymore, Here’s a Trailer, Enjoy Your Last Gasp of Hype
The Boys: Final Season Trailer Drops — Homelander’s Ego Gets Its Own Zip Code
Breaking, Movie News

The Boys: Season Who Even Cares Anymore, Here’s a Trailer, Enjoy Your Last Gasp of Hype

FinnMarch 7, 2026March 7, 2026

Prime Video just dropped the official trailer for the fifth and final season of The Boys, and honestly? It’s like…

Why Driving a Modern Car Feels More Like Battling a Sentient Smartphone on Wheels
Breaking, Games News

Why Driving a Modern Car Feels More Like Battling a Sentient Smartphone on Wheels

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 7, 2026March 7, 2026

Let’s be honest—modern cars are basically gaming consoles on wheels, and if you haven’t noticed, you’re probably still fiddling with…

John Skoog’s Redoubt Featuring Denis Lavant Finally Invades UK Theaters Because We All Needed More Art Film Shenanigans
Breaking, Movie News

John Skoog’s Redoubt Featuring Denis Lavant Finally Invades UK Theaters Because We All Needed More Art Film Shenanigans

FinnMarch 7, 2026March 7, 2026

Well, well, well, look who decided to finally leave the house! After years of lurking in the shadows of indie…

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Latest posts

  • BREAKING: ANTHRAX Debuts New Song ‘Its For The Kids’ Because Clearly The World Was Missing A 60 Year Old Man Screaming About Juvenile Delinquency
  • The Witcher 3 Is Getting One Last Surprise Expansion Because You Clearly Didn’t Spend Enough Hours of Your Life Playing It Already and Geralt Is Coming Back to Ruin Your Social Life Again
  • Backrooms Review: Because Who Needs Original Ideas When You Can Just Copy Paste Some Spooky Stuff and Call it a Day
  • Become a Semi Competent Leader in 3 Easy Steps Learn to Stop Freaking Out and Maybe Possibly Adapt to Change
  • Because What Every Community Needs is More Bureaucratic Red Tape to Really Give Them Some Actual Power Over Their Own Lives

Editorial
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Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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