Study Finds Crows Able To Recognize Faces Had Work Done
ITHACA, NY—Revealing the bird species has the capacity to detect botox, fillers, and even laser hair removal, a study…
Category: The Onion
Ref Under Uprights Sheepishly Waits To Do ‘Good’ Sign Until Other Ref Does It First
The post Ref Under Uprights Sheepishly Waits To Do ‘Good’ Sign Until Other Ref Does It First appeared first…
Caleb Williams Signals Boisterous Chicago Home Crowd To Eat Less Loudly
CHICAGO—Pleading with fans to rein in their excitement during Saturday’s pivotal wild card matchup, Chicago Bears quarterback Caleb Williams…
‘We’ll Take It From Here, Boys,’ Says Kash Patel To Confused Minneapolis Mail Carrier
The post ‘We’ll Take It From Here, Boys,’ Says Kash Patel To Confused Minneapolis Mail Carrier appeared first on…
DHS Releases Watchlist Of Mothers Driving Cars
WASHINGTON—Circulating a new advisory that highlighted what it called the “worst of the worst,” the Department of Homeland Security…
JD Vance Claims Renée Good Had No Authority To Be Alive In First Place
The post JD Vance Claims Renée Good Had No Authority To Be Alive In First Place appeared first on…
The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Stephen Miller
White House deputy chief of staff Stephen Miller has been the force behind many of President Trump’s hard-line policies,…
Fox News Sends Trump Quarterly Tithe Of 3 Blond Anchors
WASHINGTON—Saying the sumptuous gift should slake the administration’s thirst for the next few months, Fox News sent President Donald…
U.K. Bans Junk Food Advertisements
The United Kingdom banned junk food advertisements on television before 9 p.m. and at any time online, part of…
Fact-Checking The Trump Administration On Venezuela
President Donald Trump has made a number of claims about the future of Venezuela since U.S. special forces raided…