Category: The Onion

       WASHINGTON—Advising her that even the most basic gesture of contrition would solve all her problems instantly, lawmakers reminded convicted…

       The Department of Homeland Security warned that the use of toxins, such as ricin and cyanide, to poison domestic…

       With the popularity of streaming megahit KPop Demon Hunters, the formation of “global girl group” Katseye, and the reunion…

       The family of Alan Andrews, 52, welcomes any suggestions for alternate phrasings of “suicide by cop.” The post Alan…

       The post Drunken Seahawks Fans Climbing Space Needle appeared first on The Onion.    The post Drunken Seahawks Fans Climbing…

       BOISE, ID—Crying out “¡Dios mío!” and “¡Ayúdame!” as soon as they heard the opening notes of the Puerto Rican…

       The post Stefon Diggs Spotted Partying On Yacht In Middle Of Second Quarter appeared first on The Onion.    The…

       The post Guy At Super Bowl Party Brought Football For Some Reason appeared first on The Onion.    The post…

       VAL DI FIEMME, ITALY—Calling it a “relentless barrage of unwelcome yelling” that distracted from the competition, officials confirmed Saturday that…

       WASHINGTON—Infuriated at the sullying of a cherished American tradition, angry conservatives across the country vented their outrage Friday over…