Category: The Onion

       JACKSONVILLE, FL—Sighing in frustration as she turned another page devoid of sexual content, Lord Of The Rings reader Adrienne Heeren told…

       PHOENIX—In an effort to attract clientele who need to rent vehicles for their belongings without having a final destination…

       Look, I get it. I’m a weakling. These scrawny arms and spindly legs have obviously never seen the inside…

       WASHINGTON—Decrying the un-American nature of any activity intended to provide amusement or the slightest bit of diversion, conservatives across…

       LOS ANGELES—As they stared intently at their phones and pretended not to notice the steady rhythm of smacks echoing…

       Starbucks is reintroducing tiers to its loyalty program as part of a bid to entice consumers to visit more…

       The post Pacers PA Announcer Just Muttering ‘Jesus Christ’ Over And Over appeared first on The Onion.    The post…

       WASHINGTON—Insisting the terminated worker had violated the terms of her employment by leaking highly sensitive information, the White House announced Monday…

       The post Groundhog Harassed By Dipshits In Stupid Hats appeared first on The Onion.    The post Groundhog Harassed By…

       The Onion asked K-pop’s biggest fans to explain their devotion, in their own words. “I’m just trying to behave…