Category: The Onion

       Japan deployed troops into its northern rural regions to combat a surge in bear attacks that has already killed…

       The post Study Finds Most Americans Can’t Find Where They Are Being Deported On Map appeared first on The…

       GUILFORD, CT—Watching in horror as he silently calculated whether he would be able to dive and catch the dropped…

       EVANSTON, IL—After casually asking what she was thinking about getting, patrons at a local restaurant confirmed Tuesday that a…

       LONDON—In response to what his lawyers characterized as “a reckless and defamatory misrepresentation” of the beloved ’90s sitcom about…

       WASHINGTON—Amid a series of sudden actions overhauling landmark federal conservation regulations, the Environmental Protection Agency issued a public statement…

       FOXBOROUGH, MA—Admitting they may have overlooked some key physical metrics in the evaluation process, the New England Patriots front…

       Shopping for antiques can be a fun, sustainable, and stylish way to decorate your home. The Onion shares tips…

       WASHINGTON—As fewer air traffic controllers show up for work amid a government shutdown that has halted their pay, the…

       CORVALLIS, OR—As he tried to avert his gaze from the stress-inducing pile of letters seeking money, local man Todd…