Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: 80s

3 Women Found Dead in Utah Sparks Manhunt, Chaos, and Everyone Freaking Out Like It’s the End of Days
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

3 Women Found Dead in Utah Sparks Manhunt, Chaos, and Everyone Freaking Out Like It’s the End of Days

Big ElephantMarch 5, 2026March 5, 2026

Yet Another “Hiker Found Dead” Story, But Wait, There’s More! Well, well, well, look who decided to go hiking in…

Open World Games So Epic, They’ll Make You Forget You Have a Job in 2026
2026: The Year You Forget Grand Theft Auto 6 Exists (Almost)
Breaking, Games News

Open World Games So Epic, They’ll Make You Forget You Have a Job in 2026

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 25, 2026February 25, 2026

We all know that on November 19th, the internet will likely break under the weight of Rockstar’s return to Vice…

KLAUS MEINE: ‘SCORPIONS Still Rock Live, Even Though We’re Basically Fossils Now’
Breaking, Music News

KLAUS MEINE: ‘SCORPIONS Still Rock Live, Even Though We’re Basically Fossils Now’

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 22, 2026February 22, 2026

SCORPIONS are proving that rock ‘n’ roll truly never dies—it just books extended stays in Las Vegas. Klaus Meine and…

Metal Church Unleashes ‘Brainwash Game’ Single From Their New Album ‘Dead To Rights’—Because Who Needs Free Will Anyway?
Breaking, Music News

Metal Church Unleashes ‘Brainwash Game’ Single From Their New Album ‘Dead To Rights’—Because Who Needs Free Will Anyway?

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 13, 2026February 13, 2026

West Coast thrash metal legends METAL CHURCH will release their 13th studio album, “Dead To Rights”, on April 10 via…

Hellraiser: Revival Trailer Makes Valentine’s Day a Bloody Mess of Devotion and Torment
Hellraiser: Revival Trailer Brings Devotion And Torment To Valentine's Day Celebrations
Breaking, Games News

Hellraiser: Revival Trailer Makes Valentine’s Day a Bloody Mess of Devotion and Torment

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 11, 2026February 11, 2026

Well, folks, if you were looking for a love story to warm your heart this Valentine’s Day, you’re in luck!…

‘Friday the 13th’ Movies Slashing Back to Theaters on Friday the 13th Because Why Not?
Breaking, Movie News

‘Friday the 13th’ Movies Slashing Back to Theaters on Friday the 13th Because Why Not?

FinnFebruary 10, 2026February 10, 2026

Oh look, it’s been so long since Jason Voorhees graced our screens that the last Friday the 13th reboot is…

KREATOR’s MILLE PETROZZA Too Cool for Thrash: “Boring Album? Not in My Heart, Dude!”
Breaking, Music News

KREATOR’s MILLE PETROZZA Too Cool for Thrash: “Boring Album? Not in My Heart, Dude!”

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 10, 2026February 10, 2026

Oh look, it’s KREATOR, the German thrash metal institution that refuses to die since the ’80s! Mille Petrozza just dropped…

‘He-Man’ Co-Creator Flexes Muscles of Desperation, Begs for Cash to Heal Like a Real Hero
Breaking, Movie News

‘He-Man’ Co-Creator Flexes Muscles of Desperation, Begs for Cash to Heal Like a Real Hero

FinnFebruary 8, 2026February 8, 2026

Oh no, not another GoFundMe plea from the toy industry! But wait—this one’s for He-Man’s dad? Let’s dive into this…

METAL CHURCH Unleashes Their 13th Studio Album, ‘Dead To Rights’ – Because Who Needs Album 12 Anyway?
Breaking, Music News

METAL CHURCH Unleashes Their 13th Studio Album, ‘Dead To Rights’ – Because Who Needs Album 12 Anyway?

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 6, 2026February 6, 2026

Attention all thrashers, headbangers, and general metal misfits! METAL CHURCH is back with “Dead To Rights” — and no, they…

Stranger Things: Tales From ‘85 Drops First Teaser That Will Haunt Your Dreams (And Your WiFi)
Breaking, Movie News

Stranger Things: Tales From ‘85 Drops First Teaser That Will Haunt Your Dreams (And Your WiFi)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 2, 2026February 2, 2026

Netflix Unleashes Animated Stranger Things: Tales From ’85 — Because Clearly We Needed More Upside Down Drama Well, well, well…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 4 5 6 … 22 Next

Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald Trump posts on Truth Social July 14, 2026
  • Nation’s Cybersecurity Now In Capable Hands Of Robots Apparently
  • Iran Gives America’s Blockade A Stress Test Because Why Not
  • Apple Off Hook For Hosting Kiddie Porn Because Lawsuit Got Dismissed
  • Oh Great Another Movie with Pedro Pascal Because the World Was Missing That

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}