Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: ABC

The Oscars Nominations Have Officially Been Released, and the Academy Definitely Did Not Just Google “Famous Actors” This Year
Breaking, Music News

The Oscars Nominations Have Officially Been Released, and the Academy Definitely Did Not Just Google “Famous Actors” This Year

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

🛑 BREAKING: The Oscars Gave Out Nominations Like Candy at a Diabetes Parade 🍬 Ladies, gentlemen, and confused people trying…

Ex-Obama Lawyer Was Apparently Jeffrey Epstein’s “Get Out of Jail Free” Card, Court Docs Allege
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Ex-Obama Lawyer Was Apparently Jeffrey Epstein’s “Get Out of Jail Free” Card, Court Docs Allege

Big ElephantJanuary 20, 2026January 20, 2026

While CNN and the fake news media obsess over the latest manufactured witch hunt against President Trump’s allies, a bombshell…

Digitize 2026 Start Strong or Get Left in the Digital Dust
Live

Digitize 2026 Start Strong or Get Left in the Digital Dust

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 8, 2026

🚨 ATENCIÓN EMPRENDEDORES: 2026 ES EL AÑO QUE LO CAMBIA TODO (O TE QUEDAS EN 2015) 🚨 Luego de 34…

The Muppet Show Crawls Out of Retirement Like a Zombified Puppet to Tease Its Own Doom
Breaking, Movie News

The Muppet Show Crawls Out of Retirement Like a Zombified Puppet to Tease Its Own Doom

FinnJanuary 6, 2026January 6, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: FELT-BASED TERROR RETURNS TO TELEVISION 🚨 In a move that will either restore your childhood or psychologically scar…

The Oscars Finally Realize People Only Watch for the Fashion Fails and Will Now Stream on YouTube
Breaking, Movie News

The Oscars Finally Realize People Only Watch for the Fashion Fails and Will Now Stream on YouTube

FinnDecember 17, 2025December 17, 2025

In a move that shocked absolutely no one who has been paying attention to the slow-motion train wreck that is…

‘The Muppet Show’ Returns and We’re Already Questioning Our Life Choices
Breaking, Movie News

‘The Muppet Show’ Returns and We’re Already Questioning Our Life Choices

FinnDecember 17, 2025December 17, 2025

🎉 BREAKING NEWS: The Muppets Are Back, Baby! Because the World Clearly Needed More Chaos and One Too Many Frog…

Miss Rob: Queen of Camo or Swamp Siren?
Live

Miss Rob: Queen of Camo or Swamp Siren?

Chuck B. BallsyNovember 23, 2025

**Oh, Lesile Rob, you’re SOOO funny!** 😂Award-winning? International? She’s been spotted EVERYWHERE: Bored Teachers Comedy Tour, ABC, NBC, even “Steal…

Kimmel Dangles Olive Branch (Probably Poisoned) After Trump’s ABC Meltdown: A CNN Business Masterpiece
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Kimmel Dangles Olive Branch (Probably Poisoned) After Trump’s ABC Meltdown: A CNN Business Masterpiece

Big ElephantNovember 21, 2025November 21, 2025

Oh, the delicate snowflakes at CNN are at it again, clutching their pearls because our glorious President Trump dared to…

When Orange Man Yells at Paper People With Oil Baron Bestie: A CNN Business Comedy Show
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

When Orange Man Yells at Paper People With Oil Baron Bestie: A CNN Business Comedy Show

Big ElephantNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

Here we go again, folks! The Fake News Media is clutching their pearls because our great President Trump dared to…

B. Frank Film Festival: A Waste of Your Precious Time
Live

B. Frank Film Festival: A Waste of Your Precious Time

Chuck B. BallsySeptember 30, 2025

**OMG! 🙄 B. Frank Film Fest is back! 🤣 SVA Theatre, NYC, October 5, 2025! 🤡 10 short films, Q&A…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 2 3 Next

Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald posts on Truth Social on given date
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on specific date
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald posts on Truth Social on given date
  • NY Times Fights Back With Sassy Counter Lawsuit
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald Trump shares post on Truth Social on unspecified date

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}