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Tag: action

Billy Idol Should Be Dead, But the Documentary Trainwreck Rolls Into Theaters in Early 2026 Anyway
Breaking, Music News

Billy Idol Should Be Dead, But the Documentary Trainwreck Rolls Into Theaters in Early 2026 Anyway

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 16, 2026January 16, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: BILLY IDOL HASN’T DIED YET, SO THEY’RE MAKING A MOVIE ABOUT IT 🚨 Evan Saxon Productions (who definitely…

The Legend of Zelda’s Next LEGO Set, Because We All Needed to Rebuild Ganondorf’s Face One Stud at a Time
Breaking, Games News

The Legend of Zelda’s Next LEGO Set, Because We All Needed to Rebuild Ganondorf’s Face One Stud at a Time

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 16, 2026January 16, 2026

It’s a-me, wallet annihilation! 🎮💸 Hold onto your Rupees, folks, because LEGO and Nintendo have officially teamed up to drain…

Events

Rural Dementia Patients Officially Reclassified as Spreadsheet Entries Because Ethics Committees Are Too Expensive

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 16, 2026

Get ready for the most thrilling event of 2025: the RaDAR team explores rural dementia on August 1st! 🚜🧠 The…

Prime Video Says “Boi” To Accuracy, Casts Completely Unrelated Beefcake As Kratos For God of War
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

Prime Video Says “Boi” To Accuracy, Casts Completely Unrelated Beefcake As Kratos For God of War

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 15, 2026January 15, 2026

Hold onto your Leviathan Axe and prepare your most dramatic sighs, gamers, because Sony and Amazon have finally decided to…

75% of Americans Say Leave Greenland Alone Because Nobody Wants to Visit a Frozen Florida
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

75% of Americans Say Leave Greenland Alone Because Nobody Wants to Visit a Frozen Florida

Big ElephantJanuary 15, 2026January 15, 2026

CNN’s Newest Fake News Poll: Weak-Kneed Liberals Cower as President Trump Makes America GIANT Again! In a hilarious new “poll”…

Sophie Turner Spotted Searching For Lost Sequel While Dressed As Lara Croft As Prime Video Desperately Hopes You Forgot About Those Last Movies
Breaking, Movie News

Sophie Turner Spotted Searching For Lost Sequel While Dressed As Lara Croft As Prime Video Desperately Hopes You Forgot About Those Last Movies

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 15, 2026January 15, 2026

🚨BREAKING NEWS, GAMERS & NON-BELIEVERS! 🚨 The internet has officially melted down because Prime Video just dropped the first image…

Watch Priyanka Chopra Jonas & Karl Urban Try to Act in The Bluff Trailer
Breaking, Movie News

Watch Priyanka Chopra Jonas & Karl Urban Try to Act in The Bluff Trailer

FinnJanuary 14, 2026January 14, 2026

Hold onto your tricorn hats and prepare your most dramatic gasps, because Hollywood has apparently decided that the Cayman Islands…

Half of Americans say ICE is basically just a volunteer street gang making cities less safe, according to CNN’s latest poll
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Half of Americans say ICE is basically just a volunteer street gang making cities less safe, according to CNN’s latest poll

Big ElephantJanuary 14, 2026January 14, 2026

BREAKING: CNN’s Latest Fake News Poll Proves Americans CRAVE More ICE Action! Folks, the failing CNN is at it again…

Lee Cronin’s The Mummy Gets a Teaser So New It Forgot to Reanimate
Breaking, Movie News

Lee Cronin’s The Mummy Gets a Teaser So New It Forgot to Reanimate

FinnJanuary 14, 2026January 14, 2026

Oh, fantastic, another reboot! 🎉 Just what the cinematic universe desperately needed: LEE CRONIN’S THE MUMMY, because clearly, we have…

Corey Taylor to Sell You Signed Photos at a Horror Convention (Because He’s in Slipknot, Apparently) in Pasadena This May 2026
Breaking, Events, Music News

Corey Taylor to Sell You Signed Photos at a Horror Convention (Because He’s in Slipknot, Apparently) in Pasadena This May 2026

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 14, 2026January 14, 2026

🧟‍♂️ ATTENTION, MAGGOTS & MONSTER-FREAKS! 🧟‍♂️ Slipknot’s Vol. 5: The Search for More Money has officially begun, and this time…

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Latest posts

  • OMG 007 First Light Sells a Whopping 1.5 Million Copies in 24 Hours Because Who Needs a Social Life Anyway IOI Already Drooling Over Your Money for the First Content Update
  • ALICE COOPER Rips A.I to Shreds Because Apparently His Music Wasnt Robotic Enough Already
  • When the bassist insists on doing vocals too 🎤
  • Because You Clearly Need More Brunch and Day Parties in Your Life, DJ CLUE is Here to Save Sunday
  • Liberal Democrat’s sex scandal exposed, who’s surprised

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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