Skip to content
logo4

Jackal.Today

News that makes you want to howl!

  • Home
  • Breaking
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Sport News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Advertise with us!
  • Editorial
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: action

Iran-Israel Conflict: World War III Delayed, More Drama to Come
Elephant Reads CNN

Iran-Israel Conflict: World War III Delayed, More Drama to Come

Big ElephantJune 24, 2025June 24, 2025

Oh, the liberal media is at it again, folks! CNN, that bastion of truth (insert sarcasm here), is reporting on…

Trump Declares ‘Forever’ Peace in the Land of ‘Oops, Still at War!’ – Is It Just Another Reality Show Episode?
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Declares ‘Forever’ Peace in the Land of ‘Oops, Still at War!’ – Is It Just Another Reality Show Episode?

Big ElephantJune 24, 2025June 24, 2025

Folks, can you believe it? Trump just pulled off the impossible! While the liberal media was busy prepping their “Trump’s…

American Airlines Flight Turns Into Vomit Comet: 5 Passengers Experience Gravity the Hard Way
Elephant Reads CNN

American Airlines Flight Turns Into Vomit Comet: 5 Passengers Experience Gravity the Hard Way

Big ElephantJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Oh, the horror! Five people slightly inconvenienced on an American Airlines flight! You just know this is Biden’s fault somehow.…

Fortnite Blitz Royale: 2025’s Lightning-Fast Fiasco Nobody Asked For
Breaking, Games News

Fortnite Blitz Royale: 2025’s Lightning-Fast Fiasco Nobody Asked For

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Alright, gamers, buckle up because Fortnite just dropped Blitz Royale, a game mode so fast, your grandma could probably win…

Chill Out! Hollywood Wants Ice-T Renamed to Avoid Confusing Him with Immigration Cop
Ice-T Melts Under Woke Pressure: Forced to Rebrand as Lukewarm-T
Movie News

Chill Out! Hollywood Wants Ice-T Renamed to Avoid Confusing Him with Immigration Cop

Finn McFrameJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

LOS ANGELES, California — In an industry where everything must be inclusive—except common sense, a new scandal has brewed around…

Amy Lee: New EVANESCENCE Album “Probably” Coming in 2026 (If We’re All Still Alive)
Breaking, Music News

Amy Lee: New EVANESCENCE Album “Probably” Coming in 2026 (If We’re All Still Alive)

Chord F. DiscordJune 22, 2025June 22, 2025

So, Terrie Carr from WDHA-FM 105.5 FM, which is apparently a real radio station in New Jersey (who knew?), had…

GeForce NOW Dumps All 4 Borderlands Games, Hope Your Bandwidth Can Handle It
Breaking, Games News

GeForce NOW Dumps All 4 Borderlands Games, Hope Your Bandwidth Can Handle It

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 22, 2025June 22, 2025

Okay, so GeForce NOW, bless its little heart, has decided to grace us peasants with the entire mainline Borderlands saga.…

Fareed Zakaria Finally Snaps, Praises US for Nuking Iran (Wait, What?) | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Fareed Zakaria Finally Snaps, Praises US for Nuking Iran (Wait, What?) | CNN

Big ElephantJune 21, 2025June 21, 2025

Well, folks, it looks like someone finally decided to drain the swamp in the Middle East! President Trump, in his…

Valorant Masters Toronto 2025: We Predict Who’ll Choke in the Grand Finals
Breaking, Games News

Valorant Masters Toronto 2025: We Predict Who’ll Choke in the Grand Finals

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 21, 2025June 21, 2025

Okay, gamers, gather ’round, because the *real* action at Valorant Masters Toronto 2025 is about to go down (or not,…

“Yankee Doodle Dandies GTFO of Iran (Before Trump’s Big Kaboom!)”
Elephant Reads CNN

“Yankee Doodle Dandies GTFO of Iran (Before Trump’s Big Kaboom!)”

Big ElephantJune 21, 2025June 21, 2025

Oh, the horror! Americans are fleeing Iran as the conflict with Israel escalates. Who could have possibly seen this coming?…

Posts pagination

1 2 … 8 Next

Most Viewed Posts

  • Are You Sure This Is Linkin Park? Fans Claim New Song Sounds Like Paramore! 🎸 (1,243)
  • 😱 New Days of Thunder Sequel Set to Drive Woke Hollywood Wild! 🏁💥 (1,241)
  • Yoda Goes Black, Chewbacca’s New Pronouns: Lucasfilm’s Wild Plans for Star Wars 😱🌟 (1,186)
  • 🎮 BioWare’s «Mancleaners» and the New Woman Effect: A Look Inside the Studio’s Gender Revolution 💼 (1,054)
  • New Polls Show That Trump Will Definitely Win Unless Harris Wins (855)

Latest posts

  • USA Economy Goes Bye-Bye Thanks to Iran, Says CNN (No, Really)
  • Rematch? More Like Remasterpiece: 1 Million Copies Sold in a Week (Suck It, Haters)
  • CNN: Iran Threatens Nuke if US Doesn’t Stop Playing ‘Regime Change’ Roulette
  • Iran-Israel Conflict: World War III Delayed, More Drama to Come
  • Warhammer 40K: Rogue Trader’s New DLC, Lex Imperialis, is Here to Steal Your Money!

Archives

  • June 2025
  • May 2025
  • April 2025
  • March 2025
  • February 2025
  • January 2025
  • December 2024
  • November 2024
  • October 2024
  1. CirrusFlash on Oh great, another overpriced ski simulator nobody asked for is getting a shiny new trailer and a collector’s edition, whoop-de-doo 🙄 ⛷️ 👻 💰.April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to authenticity.

  2. canary apple red on HBO Bends the Knee to Rowling: Trans Rights? Apparently Not as Magical as Galleons! 🤑April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to Ryan.

  3. Bleach on 🛒Amazon Takes Full Control of 007: James Bond Gears Up for the Battle of Likes and Discounts🎬April 25, 2025

    The Met Gala theme this year: \'millionaires but make it expensive.\'

  4. Crazy Eights on Oblivion Remaster: ‘Body Type’ vs ‘Gender’ – Who Won This Clown Show? 🤡🎉April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to 5000.

  5. Sleek Assassin on 🤠 Amazon Reinvents Mass Effect: Forget the Reapers, Meet Galactic Two-Day Shipping!April 25, 2025

    Award shows: where sponsored hand each other trophies for existing.

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn McFrame October 8, 2024
Editorial
! Editorial strike2
Editorial

🔥 Jackal.Today Journalists Go on Strike: «Too Much Money, Too Much Freedom — Enough Is Enough!»

Finn McFrame January 29, 2025
June 2025
M T W T F S S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
30  
« May    
Copyright © 2025 Jackal.Today | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}