Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: action

Garfield Kart 2: All You Can NOT Drift (Because You’ll Be Too Busy Crashing) – Now Available to Humiliate Your Console With a Brand New Trailer of Disappointment
Breaking, Games News

Garfield Kart 2: All You Can NOT Drift (Because You’ll Be Too Busy Crashing) – Now Available to Humiliate Your Console With a Brand New Trailer of Disappointment

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 10, 2025September 10, 2025

OH. MY. GOD. 😱 They actually did it. Eden Games, those absolute madlads, have unleashed Garfield Kart 2 – All…

Conan O’Brien Humiliates Himself in Borderlands 4 for Clout
Breaking, Games News

Conan O’Brien Humiliates Himself in Borderlands 4 for Clout

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 9, 2025September 9, 2025

Oh, dear GOD, grab your dentures and adult diapers, folks! Team Coco, 2K, and Gearbox Software are BACK with another…

Onimusha: Way of the Sword: Gamescom 2025’s “Stunning” Reboot (Yeah, Right) Preview
Breaking, Games News

Onimusha: Way of the Sword: Gamescom 2025’s “Stunning” Reboot (Yeah, Right) Preview

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 9, 2025September 9, 2025

Oh great, another reboot. Just what the gaming world needed, right? 🙄 As someone who vaguely remembers playing *Onimusha* back…

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Morphs into Methuselah for New Flick, Sheds 3 lbs of Pure Muscle
Breaking, Movie News

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Morphs into Methuselah for New Flick, Sheds 3 lbs of Pure Muscle

FinnSeptember 9, 2025September 9, 2025

So, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, bless his heart 🙄, is apparently shedding his mountain of muscle 💪 to morph into…

Shadow’s Edge: Witness Jackie Chan and Tony Leung’s Hilarious Attempt at a Thriller in This Trailer
Breaking, Movie News

Shadow’s Edge: Witness Jackie Chan and Tony Leung’s Hilarious Attempt at a Thriller in This Trailer

FinnSeptember 8, 2025September 8, 2025

OMG! 😱Is Jackie Chan seriously still doing this? 🤣 I mean, bless his heart, but he’s back in “action-thriller” mode…

Gamescom 2025: Crimson Desert “Preview” – Prepare to be mildly whelmed by this “complex” fantasy snorefest
Breaking, Games News

Gamescom 2025: Crimson Desert “Preview” – Prepare to be mildly whelmed by this “complex” fantasy snorefest

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 7, 2025September 7, 2025

So, I played Pearl Abyss’s Crimson Desert, right? 🙄 And let me tell you, it’s a game that thinks it’s…

Activision Rejects Spielberg’s COD Film: Guess They Prefer Loot Boxes Over Oscars
Breaking, Games News

Activision Rejects Spielberg’s COD Film: Guess They Prefer Loot Boxes Over Oscars

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

OMG! 🤯 Can you believe it? Activision, the geniuses behind *Call of Duty*, apparently said “Nah, fam” to a Steven…

Gamescom 2025: Resident Evil Requiem—Oh Look, Another Zombie Game
Breaking, Games News

Gamescom 2025: Resident Evil Requiem—Oh Look, Another Zombie Game

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 4, 2025September 4, 2025

OMG! 😱 Calling Resident Evil Requiem “one of the most anticipated games” is a HUGE stretch. 🙄 After EIGHT years…

Jack Osbourne spills the beans on Ozzy Osbourne’s profound goodbye (or did he?)
Breaking, Music News

Jack Osbourne spills the beans on Ozzy Osbourne’s profound goodbye (or did he?)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 4, 2025September 4, 2025

So, Jack Osbourne, bless his little cotton socks, decided to grace us with his presence and tell us all about…

CNN Says Here Are 5 Things You Should Care About (But Probably Won’t)
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Says Here Are 5 Things You Should Care About (But Probably Won’t)

Big ElephantSeptember 3, 2025September 3, 2025

Folks, another day, another assault on American values by the liberal media! CNN, still pushing their fake news agenda, tries…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 35 36 37 … 53 Next

Latest posts

  • Things You Should NEVER Say at a Metal Show 🤘
  • ‘Sesame Street’ Now Preceded By Warning That Its Content Is Not Suitable For Children
  • Graham Platner Says He Got His ‘I (Heart) Hitler’ Tattoo Before He Knew Of Its Nazi Connections
  • XANDRIA Finally Decides to Release Some Actual Music Instead of Just Reheating the Same Old Power Ballads for the 12 People Who Still Listen to Symphonic Metal ‘Colours’ Single Dropping Like a Hot Potato From Upcoming ‘Eclipse’ Album Because Who Needs a Social Life Anyway
  • ‘Masters of the Universe’ Review: Because Who Needs a Good Reboot Anyway What a Total Masterclass in Mediocrity

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}