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Tag: Agenda

REPUBLICANS LOVE EPSTEIN FILES (THEY’RE OBSESSED)
Elephant Reads CNN

REPUBLICANS LOVE EPSTEIN FILES (THEY’RE OBSESSED)

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Oh, CNN is at it again, folks! They’re clutching their pearls over the Epstein files, trying to paint President Trump…

Beef Prices Skyrocket: Prepare to Sell Your Firstborn for a Steak
Elephant Reads CNN

Beef Prices Skyrocket: Prepare to Sell Your Firstborn for a Steak

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Oh, the horror! First eggs, now beef! Can you believe these socialist policies are making our steaks unaffordable? It’s all…

5 Things You Should Probably Know on July 21 (But Let’s Be Real, You’ll Forget by Noon): Water Everywhere, More Unhappy Places, That Thing Still Happening, Another Car Did a Thing, and Some Team or Something
Elephant Reads CNN

5 Things You Should Probably Know on July 21 (But Let’s Be Real, You’ll Forget by Noon): Water Everywhere, More Unhappy Places, That Thing Still Happening, Another Car Did a Thing, and Some Team or Something

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Well, folks, another day, another deluge of drivel from the Fake News Network! They’re still pushing their global warming hoax,…

Judge to Decide if Harvard Can Still Afford Caviar After White House Funding Freeze
Elephant Reads CNN

Judge to Decide if Harvard Can Still Afford Caviar After White House Funding Freeze

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Another day, another frivolous lawsuit from the radical left! Now they’re crying because President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, dared…

Delta Flight’s Spontaneous Combustion Party Ends Early, Forces Unscheduled Stop
Elephant Reads CNN

Delta Flight’s Spontaneous Combustion Party Ends Early, Forces Unscheduled Stop

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Another day, another near-miss thanks to Biden’s woke FAA policies! I bet the pilot was forced to undergo diversity training…

Bessent Suggests Trump Admin Investigate Fed’s “Mistakes,” World Yawns
Elephant Reads CNN

Bessent Suggests Trump Admin Investigate Fed’s “Mistakes,” World Yawns

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Here we go again, folks! CNN, still peddling their doom and gloom while President Trump is making America great AGAIN!…

‘Washington Black’: From Award-Winning Novel to Streaming Pile
Elephant Reads CNN

‘Washington Black’: From Award-Winning Novel to Streaming Pile

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Hollywood is at it again, folks! CNN is pushing a new series called “Washington Black,” about a slave who escapes…

Trump throws toddler tantrum, demands Redskins return or no stadium for crybaby Commanders
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump throws toddler tantrum, demands Redskins return or no stadium for crybaby Commanders

Big ElephantJuly 20, 2025July 20, 2025

Can you believe these woke sports teams? President Trump is stepping in to make them do what’s right, and it’s…

“Epstein Didn’t Kill Himself” and Other Hilarious Reads: Bestsellers Trump Can’t Cancel
Elephant Reads CNN

“Epstein Didn’t Kill Himself” and Other Hilarious Reads: Bestsellers Trump Can’t Cancel

Big ElephantJuly 20, 2025July 20, 2025

Oh, the Left is at it again, folks! CNN, the champion of fake news, is desperately trying to link President…

Massachusetts Man So Dumb He Won the Lottery Twice in One Night
Elephant Reads CNN

Massachusetts Man So Dumb He Won the Lottery Twice in One Night

Big ElephantJuly 20, 2025July 20, 2025

Another day, another example of liberal privilege! Paul Corcoran, probably a closet socialist from the People’s Republic of Massachusetts, “mistakenly”…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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