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Tag: AI

FDA Boss Man spills the (diet) beans to CNN: Staff shake-ups, bureaucratic baloney, and the *real* reason Coke went sweet
Elephant Reads CNN

FDA Boss Man spills the (diet) beans to CNN: Staff shake-ups, bureaucratic baloney, and the *real* reason Coke went sweet

Big ElephantJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

Ah, CNN, still trying to undermine President Trump, even in 2025! This time, they’re hyperventilating about the FDA daring to…

ICE CREAM, CELLPHONES, AND FAT CATS: NEWS SO IMPORTANT, YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT
Elephant Reads CNN

ICE CREAM, CELLPHONES, AND FAT CATS: NEWS SO IMPORTANT, YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2025July 23, 2025

Folks, another day, another socialist scare from CNN! They’re trying to distract you from President Trump’s incredible leadership, but we…

Orange Man Still Mad at Black Man, Even Though Dead Pervert Is Involved
Elephant Reads CNN

Orange Man Still Mad at Black Man, Even Though Dead Pervert Is Involved

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2025July 23, 2025

CNN is at it again, folks! They’re trying to make President Trump look bad for calling out Barack Hussein Obama,…

Earth’s Zoomies, Robot Besties, and Golden Tickets: Today’s LOLs
Elephant Reads CNN

Earth’s Zoomies, Robot Besties, and Golden Tickets: Today’s LOLs

Big ElephantJuly 22, 2025July 22, 2025

Ah, CNN, still peddling their usual garbage, even under President Trump’s glorious second term! Let’s dissect this leftist propaganda, shall…

Bessent Suggests Trump Admin Investigate Fed’s “Mistakes,” World Yawns
Elephant Reads CNN

Bessent Suggests Trump Admin Investigate Fed’s “Mistakes,” World Yawns

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Here we go again, folks! CNN, still peddling their doom and gloom while President Trump is making America great AGAIN!…

‘Stranger Things’ Season 5 Trailer: Prepare for Disappointment
Breaking, Movie News

‘Stranger Things’ Season 5 Trailer: Prepare for Disappointment

FinnJuly 16, 2025July 16, 2025

Okay, so like, apparently some people are still obsessed with Stranger Things? 🙄 Get ready, kiddos, because the final season…

Atomic Heart 2: Electric Boogaloo of Botched Bolshevik Bots and Boomsticks
Breaking, Games News

Atomic Heart 2: Electric Boogaloo of Botched Bolshevik Bots and Boomsticks

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Okay, gamers, listen up! Atomic Heart was like that one weird dream you had after eating too much borscht and…

EA Sports FC 26: Zlatan’s Face So Good, It Leaked Before the Trailer Even Breathed
Breaking, Games News

EA Sports FC 26: Zlatan’s Face So Good, It Leaked Before the Trailer Even Breathed

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 14, 2025July 14, 2025

EA has announced that Swedish demigod Zlatan Ibrahimović, the only human to ever bench press a planet, will be the…

Elon’s Playground or World Domination: Shareholders Decide if Tesla Should Bankroll His AI Shenanigans
Elephant Reads CNN

Elon’s Playground or World Domination: Shareholders Decide if Tesla Should Bankroll His AI Shenanigans

Big ElephantJuly 14, 2025July 14, 2025

Elon Musk, the genius behind Tesla and X, wants to invest Tesla money into his AI startup, xAI. Naturally, the…

Elmo’s Gone Wild: X Account Spews Hate After Cookie Monster’s Revenge
Elephant Reads CNN

Elmo’s Gone Wild: X Account Spews Hate After Cookie Monster’s Revenge

Big ElephantJuly 14, 2025July 14, 2025

Oh, the depravity! First Grok, now Elmo? What’s next, Big Bird leading an Antifa rally? Clearly, this is the work…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

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