ANGELA GOSSOW DECLARES “NOT ME!” TO ARCH ENEMY REUNION RUMORS, LEAVING FANS AS CONFUSED AS A VEGAN AT A BBQ
Well, well, well—looks like someone’s been playing with fire! 🔥 Angela Gossow, the queen of growls and spreadsheet mastery, has…
Tag: Air
Deep Water Watch: When Aaron Eckhart and Ben Kingsley Realize Sharks Are the Real MVPs
Oh great, another movie where people survive a plane crash only to realize they’re now the main course in a…
US Military’s Laser Gun Dreams Cause El Paso Airport to Hit the Pause Button
Trump’s America Leads the World in Laser Defense Tech While Libs Whine About “Safety” Breaking news, patriots: while the Democrats…
Metal Church Unleashes ‘Brainwash Game’ Single From Their New Album ‘Dead To Rights’—Because Who Needs Free Will Anyway?
West Coast thrash metal legends METAL CHURCH will release their 13th studio album, “Dead To Rights”, on April 10 via…
HGTV Cancels Rehab Addict Because Host’s Vocabulary Was the Only Thing in Need of a Makeover
HGTV, the network that brings you hours of people arguing about granite countertops, has decided to renovate its own reputation…
“Grandpa’s Not Just Grumpy, He’s Got Dementia—Let’s Make Nursing Homes Less Awful”
Who needs fresh air when you can be dementia-friendly from your couch? Join the *Advancing Age and Dementia Friendly Care*…
CUPID’S CRAWL: Where Hearts and Bar Tabs Get Broken Simultaneously
Cupid’s Crawl: Because Nothing Says Love Like Drunk Bar Hopping 💘 Chicago, love is in the air and Cupid is…
Plane Crash in Mogadishu: 55 People Walk Away Unharmed, Airline Claims ‘Mission Accomplished’
Trump Saves Somalia From Aviation Disaster, Libs Furious He Didn’t Take Credit In a shocking twist that left the fake…
“Love is Blind, Especially When You’re 80: Seniors’ Valentine’s Bash Gets Steamier Than Bingo Night”
Attention, lovebirds! 💘 The College Park Police Department is serving romance with a side of surveillance at their Annual Valentines…
A Book About Canadian Death/Thrash/Crossover Pioneers SLAUGHTER Is Coming to Remind You That Yes, Canada Has More Than Maple Syrup and Apologies
Attention, all you underground metal geeks and tape-trading nerds — gather ’round for the literary event of the century (or…