Breaking: Blind Guardian Bravely Stumbles Through North America in 2025, Kicking Off Tour in Fort Lauderdale Because Why Not
OMG! 😱 The geriatric German power metallers BLIND GUARDIAN, bless their little hobbit hearts, 👴👵 actually dared to kick off…
Tag: Album
Ulver Just Dropped a ‘Neverland’ Album and a Single Called ‘Weeping Stone’ – Prepare for Maximum Existential Dread
ULVER, those lovable trolls from Norway 🇳🇴, are gracing us with “Weeping Stone”, a single so profound it’ll make you…
Billy Corgan Thinks Smashing Pumpkins Opera Won’t Be Total Trainwreck
So, BILLY CORGAN, the dude who thinks wrestling is a legitimate sport, has decided his music is high art.🤡 He’s…
Behold! The POWER OF 3 Supergroup (AKA Orianthi and Some Other Ladies) Shreds at Raiders-Cowboys Game
Behold! THE POWER OF 3, the earth-shattering, mind-blowing (not really) supergroup comprised of Orianthi, the guitar-slinging singer-songwriter who once brushed…
Voivod’s New Game: Prepare for Nuclear Boredom
So, like, VOIVOD, those Canadian metal dudes who peaked sometime last century, are still trying to be relevant. Get this:…
Stone Temple Pilots’ Dean DeLeo: Spotify’s Royalty Rates? More Like Highway Robbery, Am I Right
🎸 Dean DeLeo from STONE TEMPLE PILOTS (the band your dad used to blast in the minivan 🚐) is whining…
Chris Barnes Throws Shade, Says New SIX FEET UNDER Album Won’t Suck (Probably)
Breaking News! 🚨 Chris Barnes, the vocal powerhouse behind SIX FEET UNDER, has graced us with an update on their…
Metallica Pukes Out Another ‘Holier Than Thou’ Video From Perth Concert (Yawn)
METALLICA, those geriatric rockers who still haven’t figured out how to retire gracefully, apparently graced the land of kangaroos and…
RUNNING WILD to FINALLY Release New Album in Summer 2026 (If They Remember To)
Ahoy, mateys! Prepare yourselves for another legendary saga! 🤣 The geriatric pirates of RUNNING WILD are STILL allegedly working on…
Lars Ulrich Claims He Breaks a Sweat (Barely) During Metallica Gigs
Well, butter my biscuits and call me a Lars apologist! 🧈 Apparently, the California Film Institute, bless their cotton socks,…