Gojira’s Newest Member: A Car Bomb Specialist?!
GOJIRA, those Frenchie prog-metallers who think they’re saving the planet one chug at a time, apparently kicked off a tour…
Tag: Amazon
Walmart’s Need for Speed: From Aisle 5 to the Finish Line, Can They Outrun Amazon in Diapers and Toilet Paper?
Walmart, bowing to the woke mob, replaces hardworking Americans with commie robots! I knew it! Walmart, now run by radical…
Report: Xbox Might Make You Sell a Kidney Due to Recent RAM Shenanigans
Oh noes! 😠Looks like Microsoft and Xbox dun goofed again! Reports are circulating faster than my uncle’s conspiracy theories…
Weekend Meetings, Paul Anka Therapy Sessions, and Trump’s Ballroom Fantasies: A CNN Political Soap Opera
You won’t BELIEVE what our favorite President, the one and only Donald J. Trump, is up to now! While the…
Boogie Nights in 4K: Because You Haven’t Seen Enough Fake Penises
Wow, hold onto your hats, folks! Boogie Nights, that cinematic masterpiece (or, you know, just a movie) from 1997 by…
“Stargate: Prime Directive – Because Apparently Wormholes Weren’t Confusing Enough Already”
Amazon MGM Studios, in a move that absolutely NO ONE saw coming (🙄), has announced that they’re rebooting Stargate. Yes,…
Project Hail Mary: New Trailer Drops, Guaranteed to Confuse Even Book Readers
Oh, look, another movie adaptation of a book. 🙄 This time it’s *Project Hail Mary*, because apparently, Hollywood has run…
Redcoat: From Page to Screen—Because the Book Wasn’t Boring Enough
Oh, for the love of all that is holy, Atlas Entertainment and Ghost Machine 👻 are turning *Redcoat* into a…
Re-Animator Gets the 4K Treatment Because Apparently One Corpse Party Wasn’t Enough
Oh, sweet zombie Jesus, ANOTHER Re-Animator release? 🙄 Didn’t we all suffer enough back in the ’80s? But noooo, Second…
Joe Keery, Liam Neeson, and Some Lady vs Moldzilla: The Cold Storage Trailer No One Asked For
Oh, joy! Another movie where humanity is about to be wiped out by something nasty 🙄. This time, it’s a…