Maynard James Keenan Trades Music For Sushi Because Tool Fans Were Getting Too Hangry
Hold on to your seats, folks! 🚨 Maynard James Keenan, the legendary frontman of TOOL and A PERFECT CIRCLE, is…
Tag: And Just Like That
Anthrax explains album art because you clearly didnt buy the record and need a lesson
Oh boy, are you guys ready for some thrash metal goodness? 🤘 Because ANTHRAX is finally back with a new…
GODSMACK Still Exists Somehow With New Drummer Mike Mangini
I just spilled my beer all over my desk because I’m so shocked by the latest news from the GODSMACK…
Border Patrol Checkpoint Chase Ends in Texas with Suspect Getting a One-Way Ticket to the Afterlife, Officials Report
Breaking: Another Liberal Triggered Snowflake Meets His Match at the Border! In a shocking turn of events that will no…
Xbox Begins With Console, But Asha Sharma’s Real Plan Is to Sprinkle Some Fun Dust and Magic Culture Fairy Powder All Over It
Oh, look—a shiny new CEO at Xbox! 🙌 Just what the world needed, right? Because when you think of gaming…
FOO FIGHTERS Announce New Album ‘Your Favorite Toy’, Drop Title Track That’s Probably Better Than Your Childhood Teddy Bear
FOO FIGHTERS Drop New Single That’s Basically Your Ex’s Revenge Playlist Well, well, well—if it isn’t Dave Grohl and the…
Trump’s Tantrum Threatens to Turn House GOP Into a Panic Room
Trump’s Tough Love Keeps GOP in Line—Who Knew Fear Was Such a Motivator? In a stunning turn of events that…
5 Sequels That Completely Abandoned the Original Film’s Genre Like a Coward
🚨 BREAKING: Hollywood Discovers Sequels Are Basically Just the Same Movie, But With More Explosions (And Less Logic) 🚨 Ah,…
JAY JAY FRENCH Warns Fans That TWISTED SISTER’s 2026 Reunion Tour Will Be Just as Predictable as Your Dad’s Jokes
🚨 BREAKING: The “Farewell” Tour That Refuses to Die — TWISTED SISTER Announces 50th Anniversary Reunion Because Retirement Was Clearly…
SYSTEM OF A DOWN’s DARON MALAKIAN: How I Accidentally Became METALLICA’s Backup Guitarist for Two Nights in 2000
When a 22-Year-Old in Lakers Sweats Accidentally Became Metal God for a Night: The Daron Malakian Origin Story 🤘😂 Once…