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Tag: Announcements

OMG! Jason’s Back (Again!) – New Movie & Game Announced (Because We Needed More)
Breaking, Games News

OMG! Jason’s Back (Again!) – New Movie & Game Announced (Because We Needed More)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

OMG! 😱 Did you guys hear? Some nobody at Horror Inc. (yeah, never heard of them either) mumbled something about…

Sony Buys a Measly 2.5% of Bandai Namco, Declares Victory in Anime Monopoly
Breaking, Games News

Sony Buys a Measly 2.5% of Bandai Namco, Declares Victory in Anime Monopoly

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

OMG! 😱 Sony, those sneaky corporate overlords, are at it AGAIN! 😈 They’ve just bought a measly 2.5% stake in…

Pokémon Presents July 2025: Prepare to be Mildly Titillated by Mediocrity & Mega Dragonite’s Disappointing Debut!
Breaking, Games News

Pokémon Presents July 2025: Prepare to be Mildly Titillated by Mediocrity & Mega Dragonite’s Disappointing Debut!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 22, 2025July 22, 2025

Okay, so the Pokémon Company, bless their cotton socks, decided to grace us with a Summer Pokémon Presents July 2025,…

Stocks Soar While Wall Street Sweats Tariffs (LOL)
Elephant Reads CNN

Stocks Soar While Wall Street Sweats Tariffs (LOL)

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

Oh, Wall Street’s “highly anticipating” what President Trump’s about to unleash? More like trembling in their overpriced boots! These traders…

Crunchyroll’s 2025 Anime Expo Dumpster Fire: Black Clover and Other Questionable Choices Revealed
Breaking, Games News

Crunchyroll’s 2025 Anime Expo Dumpster Fire: Black Clover and Other Questionable Choices Revealed

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 5, 2025July 5, 2025

Oh. My. God. 🙄 Crunchyroll, bless their cotton socks, actually thinks we care about their “annual Industry Panel” at Anime…

Oh great, more ‘Hunger Games’? As if we needed another one with Glenn Close and Billy Porter
Breaking, Movie News

Oh great, more ‘Hunger Games’? As if we needed another one with Glenn Close and Billy Porter

FinnJune 21, 2025June 21, 2025

Oh honey, hold onto your wigs! 💅 Glenn Close and Billy Porter, the icons we didn’t know we needed, are…

Red Dead Redemption 2 Voice Actors Hilariously Troll Fans with Vague Teases of Impending Doom
Breaking, Games News

Red Dead Redemption 2 Voice Actors Hilariously Troll Fans with Vague Teases of Impending Doom

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Alright, folks, buckle up your horses because the drama is thicker than Dutch’s accent in a poker game! 🤠 Apparently,…

Nintendo Direct to bless us with more Donkey Kong than we asked for
Breaking, Games News

Nintendo Direct to bless us with more Donkey Kong than we asked for

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Oh, sweet merciful bananas! 🍌 Nintendo, in its infinite wisdom (or maybe just a desperate attempt to sell more Switch…

Wholesome Direct 2025: Prepare for Maximum Cuteness Overload (and Maybe a Sugar Crash)
Breaking, Games News

Wholesome Direct 2025: Prepare for Maximum Cuteness Overload (and Maybe a Sugar Crash)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 7, 2025June 7, 2025

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! 🤪 Another year, another avalanche of “wholesome” games designed to lull you into a…

Regal’s $1 Summer Movie Express: Prepare for a Cinematic Rollercoaster of Cheap Thrills (and Questionable Films) in 2025
Breaking

Regal’s $1 Summer Movie Express: Prepare for a Cinematic Rollercoaster of Cheap Thrills (and Questionable Films) in 2025

FinnMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

Regal’s Summer Movie Express (SMX) is BACK for 2025, baby! 🎉 Get ready to shell out a whopping $1 (yes,…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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