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Tag: Apple

“CEOs Sip Champagne at ‘Melania’ Premiere While ICE Casually Mows Down Protesters Like Grass”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

“CEOs Sip Champagne at ‘Melania’ Premiere While ICE Casually Mows Down Protesters Like Grass”

Big ElephantJanuary 27, 2026January 27, 2026

FAKE NEWS ALERT: CNN WHINES ABOUT PATRIOTIC CEOs BACKING TRUMP AS DEEP STATE TRIES TO CANCEL MELANIA’S DOCUMENTARY! Oh wow,…

Sophie Turner Slapped With a Pickaxe and Forced to Raid Tombs Because Netflix Can’t Leave Classic Video Games Alone
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

Sophie Turner Slapped With a Pickaxe and Forced to Raid Tombs Because Netflix Can’t Leave Classic Video Games Alone

FinnJanuary 26, 2026January 26, 2026

Behold, mortals! Amazon has finally graced us with the first official image of Sophie Turner as Lara Croft, and folks,…

Protein’s Dead, Long Live Fiber Your Gut Microbiome Literally Requires It
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Protein’s Dead, Long Live Fiber Your Gut Microbiome Literally Requires It

Big ElephantJanuary 25, 2026January 25, 2026

Leave it to the liberal mainstream media to hype another soy-filled fad designed to weaken our great nation. CNN is…

STONE SOUR guitarist JOSH RAND’s THE L.I.F.E. PROJECT promises you a full-length album… right after the heat death of the universe in 2026
Breaking, Music News

STONE SOUR guitarist JOSH RAND’s THE L.I.F.E. PROJECT promises you a full-length album… right after the heat death of the universe in 2026

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 21, 2026January 21, 2026

In the thunderous, eternal battle against the ever-looming threat of having actual release dates, THE L.I.F.E. PROJECT has emerged victorious…

The New York Game Awards 2026 Winners Have Been Revealed: Silicon Alley’s Finest Pretend We Care About Their Opinions!
Breaking, Games News

The New York Game Awards 2026 Winners Have Been Revealed: Silicon Alley’s Finest Pretend We Care About Their Opinions!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 19, 2026January 19, 2026

Hold onto your controllers and prepare your most smug takes, because the NYVGCC just finished their 15th annual ceremony where…

Live

Queen City Hopes Attendees Forget They’re in Ohio with a Ridiculous Martini Festival

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 18, 2026

Get ready for the Queen City R&B Martini Festival where the martinis are as cheap as the R&B vibes are…

Billy Idol Should Be Dead, But the Documentary Trainwreck Rolls Into Theaters in Early 2026 Anyway
Breaking, Music News

Billy Idol Should Be Dead, But the Documentary Trainwreck Rolls Into Theaters in Early 2026 Anyway

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 16, 2026January 16, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: BILLY IDOL HASN’T DIED YET, SO THEY’RE MAKING A MOVIE ABOUT IT 🚨 Evan Saxon Productions (who definitely…

Online Event // We’re Totally Not Making This Up As We Go, Promise
Live

Online Event // We’re Totally Not Making This Up As We Go, Promise

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 11, 2026

📚 Sein Credo: Erzählen heißt Grenzen überschreiten. 😂 Thomas Pyczak liefert die Blaupause, um wie Apple oder Open.AI zu denken.…

Online-Event // So What’s the Story—Is This Happening or Are We Just Emailing Ourselves?
Live

Online-Event // So What’s the Story—Is This Happening or Are We Just Emailing Ourselves?

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 11, 2026

Mark your calendars for November 20, 2024! 🚀 At 17:00 Uhr, Thomas Pyczak’s Impulsvortrag will teach you how Apple, Open.AI,…

The 16 Shows We’ll Pretend to Care About in 2026
Breaking, Movie News

The 16 Shows We’ll Pretend to Care About in 2026

FinnJanuary 9, 2026January 9, 2026

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: THE TV INDUSTRY IS STILL ALIVE, AND IT’S HERE TO STEAL YOUR SOUL ONE BINGE-WATCH AT A…

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Latest posts

  • Anthrax still exists somehow releases new music video
  • Hollywood Studios Churn Out Films to Cling to Precious IPs Again
  • Naruto Live Action Movie Because That Will Definitely End Well
  • Secretlab Teaming Up With McLaren Because Gamers Need More Overpriced Chairs
  • Riot Mashes Up More IPs Because Originality is Overrated Now

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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