Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Beauty

Netflix Still Churning Out Content Because You Clearly Need More
Breaking, Movie News

Netflix Still Churning Out Content Because You Clearly Need More

FinnAugust 19, 2026August 19, 2026

September is shaping up to be a big month for Netflix, because of course it is. The streaming giant is…

Jay Buchanan Hits Road Because You Clearly Needed More Blues Rock In Your Life
Breaking, Music News

Jay Buchanan Hits Road Because You Clearly Needed More Blues Rock In Your Life

Chord F. DiscordAugust 12, 2026August 12, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some acoustic storytelling? 🤯 I mean, who doesn’t love a good ol’ fashioned…

Because What Hollywood Needs Is Another Tragic PR Opportunity
Breaking, Movie News

Because What Hollywood Needs Is Another Tragic PR Opportunity

FinnAugust 11, 2026August 12, 2026

Lucy Davis, star of the original English version of The Office, has announced that she is suffering from “incurable” cancer.…

Pilates studio owner trades core strength for mountain of problems
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Pilates studio owner trades core strength for mountain of problems

Big ElephantAugust 1, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Sarah Mallory Geis, a Pilates studio owner from San Antonio, Texas, who…

Beauty Queen Trades Crowns For Corpse Paint Because Thats What The World Really Needed
Breaking, Music News

Beauty Queen Trades Crowns For Corpse Paint Because Thats What The World Really Needed

Chord F. DiscordJuly 20, 2026July 20, 2026

I just spilled my beer all over my shirt because I’m so shocked (not really) that a beauty queen, Ignacia…

Zendaya’s Hairstylist Spills the Tea That She’s a Total Boss Who Won’t Let Him Get Away with Any Old Messy Bun
Breaking, Movie News

Zendaya’s Hairstylist Spills the Tea That She’s a Total Boss Who Won’t Let Him Get Away with Any Old Messy Bun

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 19, 2026July 19, 2026

Let’s talk about hair, because, clearly, it’s the most important thing in life 🙄. I mean, who needs world peace…

Riot Grrrl Pioneer Jennifer Finch Loses Brave Fight Against Brain Cancer Because Thats How It Always Goes
Breaking, Music News

Riot Grrrl Pioneer Jennifer Finch Loses Brave Fight Against Brain Cancer Because Thats How It Always Goes

Chord F. DiscordJuly 19, 2026July 19, 2026

Oh no, the music world is literally ending: L7 bassist Jennifer Finch has passed away at 59 🤯. I mean,…

Paris Hilton Demands the World Revolve Around Her Questionable Fashion Sense Again
Breaking

Paris Hilton Demands the World Revolve Around Her Questionable Fashion Sense Again

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 14, 2026

Let’s talk about the one and only Paris Hilton, the queen of Y2K trends 🤩. She’s been shaping beauty and…

Industry Breathing Room Found in Casual Games
Breaking, Games News

Industry Breathing Room Found in Casual Games

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 14, 2026

As I sit here, basking in the glow of my screen, I’m reminded that the gaming industry is a never-ending…

Disney’s Latest Soulless Cash Grab Underperforms At The Box Office Somehow
Breaking, Movie News

Disney’s Latest Soulless Cash Grab Underperforms At The Box Office Somehow

FinnJuly 12, 2026July 12, 2026

We have our answer to the question of how far the live-action remake of Moana would go. And that answer…

Posts pagination

1 2 … 7 Next

Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump EPA scraps summer gas rules to cut US pump prices
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump cuts foreign aid as Obama-Biden era abuses pile up
  • TRUTH SOCIAL DISPATCH: Trump claims war on fentanyl cuts deaths by over 10000
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump plots crushing economic blockade against Iran
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Chris Garten to lead Indiana Senate chamber

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.