Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: ” because apparently

OVERKILL Gears Up to Over-Record New Album This Spring/Summer, Promises to Overwhelm Fans by Late 2026
OVERKILL's Bobby "Blitz" Ellsworth Confirms New Album: 'It's Pretty Much Done Musically, Just Waiting on My Lazy Ass'
Breaking, Music News

OVERKILL Gears Up to Over-Record New Album This Spring/Summer, Promises to Overwhelm Fans by Late 2026

Chord F. DiscordMarch 12, 2026March 12, 2026

Oh, look who’s still alive and making music in 2026! That’s right, it’s everyone’s favorite New Jersey thrash veterans OVERKILL,…

‘Lanterns’ Trailer Teases the First Green Lantern TV Show — Or Just Another Lantern Parade?
Breaking, Movie News

‘Lanterns’ Trailer Teases the First Green Lantern TV Show — Or Just Another Lantern Parade?

FinnMarch 4, 2026March 4, 2026

Oh great, another superhero show where the heroes barely use their powers and mostly just glare at each other in…

Hillary Clinton Claims Trump’s Epstein Files Are Just a Giant Game of Hide-and-Seek
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Hillary Clinton Claims Trump’s Epstein Files Are Just a Giant Game of Hide-and-Seek

Big ElephantFebruary 17, 2026February 17, 2026

Oh look, Hillary Clinton is back with another wild conspiracy theory, this time accusing President Trump of an “Epstein cover-up”…

Denise Weinberg’s Cosmic Odyssey: Trailer Drops for Brazil’s Lo-Fi Sci-Fi Adventure That’s Low on Budget, High on Weird
Breaking, Movie News

Denise Weinberg’s Cosmic Odyssey: Trailer Drops for Brazil’s Lo-Fi Sci-Fi Adventure That’s Low on Budget, High on Weird

FinnFebruary 17, 2026February 17, 2026

Well, well, well, look what we have here—Brazil’s latest cinematic masterpiece where the government ships off old people like they’re…

Bad Bunny’s 2026 Super Bowl Halftime Show Set List + Guests: Because Apparently, We’re All Just Here for the Tacos Now
Breaking, Music News

Bad Bunny’s 2026 Super Bowl Halftime Show Set List + Guests: Because Apparently, We’re All Just Here for the Tacos Now

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 8, 2026February 8, 2026

Bad Bunny Is Ready to Turn the Super Bowl Into a F*cking Fiesta—¿Hablas Español? Oh look, it’s that time again…

SEPULTURA Unleashes ‘The Cloud Of Unknowing’ EP—Because Who Needs Clarity Anyway?
Breaking, Music News

SEPULTURA Unleashes ‘The Cloud Of Unknowing’ EP—Because Who Needs Clarity Anyway?

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 29, 2026January 29, 2026

SEPULTURA Announces Final EP Title: “The Cloud Of Unknowing” Hold onto your leather pants, metalheads! SEPULTURA, the Brazilian/American metal legends…

Events

Hah, Fort Bend Parents: Prepare for KidsLinked Houston’s 2026 Children’s Festival Where Your Wallet Goes to Die

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 26, 2026

Mark your calendars for February 1st, 2026, because the 2026 Houston Children’s Festival is about to turn Sugar Land Town…

WITHIN TEMPTATION and SMASH INTO PIECES Somehow Manage to Not Explode During ‘Somebody Like You’ Video
Breaking, Music News

WITHIN TEMPTATION and SMASH INTO PIECES Somehow Manage to Not Explode During ‘Somebody Like You’ Video

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 15, 2026January 15, 2026

Step right up, music lovers, and witness the symphonic miracle! 🎭 Your favorite symphonic metal overlords, WITHIN TEMPTATION, have decided…

Hear CRO-MAGS’ Newly Re-Recorded Version Of Band’s Classic Song ‘Hard Times’ (Because Apparently The ’80s Called And Wants Its Sound Back)
Breaking, Music News

Hear CRO-MAGS’ Newly Re-Recorded Version Of Band’s Classic Song ‘Hard Times’ (Because Apparently The ’80s Called And Wants Its Sound Back)

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 9, 2026January 9, 2026

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: CRO-MAGS Re-Record “Hard Times” Because Apparently, Legal Drama is Harder Than Hardcore Mosh Pits 🚨 In a…

TIME Mag Just Dropped Their Hot 100 Creators List—Prepare to Question Everything
Breaking

TIME Mag Just Dropped Their Hot 100 Creators List—Prepare to Question Everything

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 11, 2025July 11, 2025

Oh, honey, TIME Magazine, bless their little hearts, just dropped their “very first” TIME100 Creators list. Yes, because clearly, the…

Posts pagination

1 2 Next

Latest posts

  • How to Deal with Your Kid’s Over the Top Public Displays of Affection Without Losing Your Mind
  • TOM KEIFER Still Singing Cinderella Songs Because You Wont Let Him Retire
  • BREAKING ORANGE ORACLE DROPS BOMBSHELL TRUMP CONQUERS LATIN AMERICA
  • SKILLET To Finally Release Something New Because You’ve All Been Clamoring For More Of The Same Old Stuff In July; ‘Comatose: 20 Years, Still Screaming Tour’ To Launch This Fall Because They Still Can’t Sell Out A Decent Venue
  • Trump vows to punish scum who trashed our great nation’s pool

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}