Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Blade

PAC-MAN Devours Snow Removal Duties in Latest Cash Grab Partnership
Breaking, Games News

PAC-MAN Devours Snow Removal Duties in Latest Cash Grab Partnership

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 21, 2026October 21, 2026

Winter is coming, and so are the gimmicks. Yarbo, a robotics company, has teamed up with the one and only…

xTool C1 does everything except make a decent game this year
Breaking, Games News

xTool C1 does everything except make a decent game this year

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 20, 2026October 20, 2026

Oh joy, another device to clutter up our desks and empty our wallets. But hey, at least this one looks…

Because What The World Needed Was Another Blade Runner Sequel Apparently
Breaking, Movie News

Because What The World Needed Was Another Blade Runner Sequel Apparently

FinnOctober 12, 2026October 12, 2026

It’s not like we’ve been waiting for a decent sci-fi movie to come along, but Amazon’s upcoming series Blade Runner…

Gaming’s Latest Cash Grab: Magic Meets Marvel in Overpriced Card Chaos
Breaking, Games News

Gaming’s Latest Cash Grab: Magic Meets Marvel in Overpriced Card Chaos

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 9, 2026October 9, 2026

Get ready for some magical mayhem, folks! NYCC 2026 just dropped the bombshell of the year: Magic: The Gathering |…

Phantom Blade Zero Slices Straight to Top of Action Game Food Chain
Breaking, Games News

Phantom Blade Zero Slices Straight to Top of Action Game Food Chain

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 8, 2026October 8, 2026

It’s not every day that I get to play a game that actually lives up to its hype, but Phantom…

KING DIAMOND blesses us with 3 whole songs on a picture disc because you clearly needed more overpriced merch
Breaking, Music News

KING DIAMOND blesses us with 3 whole songs on a picture disc because you clearly needed more overpriced merch

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 24, 2026September 24, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some spine-tingling news? 🎃 KING DIAMOND’s “Halloween” picture disc is being re-released, because,…

Cannibal Corpse Drummer Whines About Being Old And Tired On Tour
Breaking, Music News

Cannibal Corpse Drummer Whines About Being Old And Tired On Tour

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 20, 2026September 20, 2026

I just spilled my beer all over my desk because I’m so shocked to hear that Paul Mazurkiewicz, the drummer…

200 Stab Wounds blesses us with new album to ruin our lives Lowest Form
Breaking, Music News

200 Stab Wounds blesses us with new album to ruin our lives Lowest Form

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 16, 2026September 16, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for this? 🤯 200 STAB WOUNDS is back, and they’re not just bringing their…

TWISTED SISTER Still A Thing Somehow Performs With SEBASTIAN BACH
Breaking, Music News

TWISTED SISTER Still A Thing Somehow Performs With SEBASTIAN BACH

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 6, 2026September 6, 2026

I mean, who wouldn’t want to see TWISTED SISTER with Sebastian Bach on vocals? It’s not like we’ve been begging…

Sony Serving Double Helping of Hype for September 3rd
Breaking, Games News

Sony Serving Double Helping of Hype for September 3rd

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 31, 2026August 31, 2026

Get ready for a double dose of hype and potentially underwhelming announcements, as Sony has revealed not one, but two…

Posts pagination

1 2 … 10 Next

Latest posts

  • Mom Making Her Birthday All About Her
  • ‘Not To My Knowledge,’ Replies Eve When Asked If She Ate The Forbidden Fruit
  • Trump’s $10B BBC lawsuit takes thrilling turn towards deposition doom
  • 2hollis Sets 2027 Pirouette Tour Dates
  • Fleetwood Mac Doc Hits Apple TV January 2027

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.