I just spilled my beer all over my desk because I’m so shocked to hear that Paul Mazurkiewicz, the drummer for Cannibal Corpse, is still touring and playing music at his age. I mean, the guy is basically a dinosaur in the metal world, and I’m not just saying that because he’s been around since the late 80s. In a recent interview with “Reckless” Rexx Ruger of Pod Scum, Mazurkiewicz talked about how the touring life has changed for him and his bandmates over the years. Because, you know, getting older is a real thing, even for metalheads.
Apparently, Mazurkiewicz has to make sure he’s eating well, staying hydrated, and getting enough sleep to maintain his energy levels. Wow, what a wild concept. I bet he also has to take his teeth out at night and put them in a glass of water, just like my grandma. He also mentioned that he goes on walks every day to get some exercise and fresh air, because, you know, being stuck on a bus with 10 guys can be tough. I mean, I can barely handle being stuck in a room with one guy who doesn’t shower regularly.
The Struggle is Real
Mazurkiewicz also talked about how the band’s touring schedule has changed over the years. They’re not as frequent as they used to be, but they’re making the most of it. Because, let’s be real, who needs sleep and a social life when you can play death metal for a living? He also mentioned that being able to get away from the bus and take walks is a great thing, especially when the weather is nice. I mean, who doesn’t love a good walk in the park while listening to “Hammer Smashed Face”?
Cannibal Corpse’s sixteenth studio album, “Chaos Horrific”, was released in September 2023 via Metal Blade Records. Because, you know, the world was just missing another Cannibal Corpse album. The band’s guitarist/producer, Erik Rutan, has now helmed six of the band’s albums, starting with 2006’s “Kill”. I’m pretty sure he’s just trying to break some kind of record for most albums produced while still being able to hear.
The Secret to Staying Young
In an interview with Laughing Monkey With Shawn Ratches, Mazurkiewicz talked about how he’s held up physically after playing extreme metal drums for nearly four decades. Spoiler alert: it’s all about eating right, staying hydrated, and exercising. I mean, who knew? He also mentioned that he still plays ice hockey, which is just impressive. I can barely ice skate without falling on my butt.
Mazurkiewicz also talked about how he has to practice more regularly to maintain his skills. Because, you know, drumming is hard, especially when you’re old. He’s like the metal version of a wine connoisseur, except instead of wine, he’s aging like a fine cheese – getting older and smellier. He’s not sure if he’ll be able to keep playing in 10 years, but hey, only time will tell. Maybe he’ll just switch to playing the harmonica or something.
In conclusion, Paul Mazurkiewicz is still alive and kicking, and that’s just amazing. I mean, who needs youth and energy when you can just have experience and a strong will to live? Cannibal Corpse is still touring and making music, and that’s just a testament to the power of metal. So, if you’re feeling old and washed up, just remember: you can still play death metal in your 60s, as long as you eat your veggies and take your meds. 🤘🎸👴
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
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