Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Blade

Amon Amarth to Drop New Ditty ‘We Rule the Waves’ on Hump Day, Prepare to Be Mildly Titillated
Breaking, Music News

Amon Amarth to Drop New Ditty ‘We Rule the Waves’ on Hump Day, Prepare to Be Mildly Titillated

Chord F. DiscordJuly 14, 2025July 14, 2025

So, the Vikings who can’t seem to find a new gimmick AMON AMARTH are gracing us with a single and…

MEGADETH Sumo-Sized Fail: Round 2 of Embarrassment
Breaking, Movie News

MEGADETH Sumo-Sized Fail: Round 2 of Embarrassment

Chord F. DiscordJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

Oh my god, can you even believe this? MEGADETH, those geriatric thrash metal dudes, are STILL trying to stay relevant…

Denis Villeneuve Directing Bond? More Like Bore-is Villeneuve
Breaking, Movie News

Denis Villeneuve Directing Bond? More Like Bore-is Villeneuve

FinnJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

OMG! 😱 Denis Villeneuve, the guy who made sand look interesting for 3 hours, is directing the new James Bond…

SIX FEET UNDER to Drag EXHORDER, WRETCHED, and INCITE on a September/October 2025 “Comedy” Tour
Breaking, Music News

SIX FEET UNDER to Drag EXHORDER, WRETCHED, and INCITE on a September/October 2025 “Comedy” Tour

Chord F. DiscordJune 25, 2025June 25, 2025

Behold, the geriatric giants of guttural groans, SIX FEET UNDER, are crawling out of their crypts for a U.S. tour…

Peakaboo! This Climbing Game Climbed to 1 Million Copies Sold in Just Six Days!
Breaking, Games News

Peakaboo! This Climbing Game Climbed to 1 Million Copies Sold in Just Six Days!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

OMG! Another indie game thinks it’s all that? 🙄 A Steam co-op climbing game called Peak – because originality is…

NetEase Dumps Gacha, Makes “AAA” Wuxia Game No One Asked For
Breaking, Games News

NetEase Dumps Gacha, Makes “AAA” Wuxia Game No One Asked For

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 20, 2025June 20, 2025

Oh, great, another game announcement! 🙄 NetEase Games, the masters of churning out mobile games and that one vaguely popular…

Fortnite Blitz Royale: Finally, a Battle Royale for Gamers with ZERO Patience
Breaking

Fortnite Blitz Royale: Finally, a Battle Royale for Gamers with ZERO Patience

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 18, 2025June 18, 2025

Oh, honey, bless your heart, Epic Games and Fortnite are trying *so* hard with Fortnite Blitz Royale, their new “fast-paced”…

Revocation? More Like Re-VOKE-ing My Interest: Announcing Their Newest Album, ‘New Gods, New Masters’ (Yawn)
Breaking, Music News

Revocation? More Like Re-VOKE-ing My Interest: Announcing Their Newest Album, ‘New Gods, New Masters’ (Yawn)

Chord F. DiscordJune 18, 2025June 18, 2025

OMG! 😱 REVOCATION, those tech-death dudes who peaked like, five albums ago, are dropping a new album called “New Gods,…

Burton C. Bell’s Still Got It? Ex-Fear Factory Singer Claims He’s Not a Dinosaur
Breaking, Music News

Burton C. Bell’s Still Got It? Ex-Fear Factory Singer Claims He’s Not a Dinosaur

Chord F. DiscordJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

So, Burton C. Bell, the guy who used to scream in FEAR FACTORY (before he rage-quit 😭), gave an interview…

LEGO Fortnite Expeditions: 4 Players Enter, Only the Lag Survives
Breaking, Games News

LEGO Fortnite Expeditions: 4 Players Enter, Only the Lag Survives

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Oh, great, another collab no one asked for! 🙄 Epic Games, those masterminds of originality, are back at it again,…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 6 7 8 9 Next

Latest posts

  • Garth Brooks Kicks Off Arena Tour With Rootsy Setlist
  • Trump Backs IndyCar Race Because He Loves Fast Things Now
  • New Press Secretary To Just Be Picture Of Scott Jennings Doing That Face
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump builds ballroom for national security
  • Luigi Mangione Pleads Guilty

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.