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Tag: breaking

Live

“Les donneurs d’ouvrage publics organisent des conférences pour justifier leur inutilité le jeudi”

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 8, 2025

BREAKING: Québec’s BIM Enthusiasts Gather Monthly to Talk About… BIM 🤓 Every month, Quebec’s *eight* public project owners—yes, *eight*—host a…

“Tooth Wizards Gather Online to Magically Cure Your Fear of Dentists (Good Luck With That)”
Live

“Tooth Wizards Gather Online to Magically Cure Your Fear of Dentists (Good Luck With That)”

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 8, 2025

Breaking the Chain: Because Who Needs Germs Anyway? 😷 Join Amanda “Waterline Warrior” Hill on **Friday, December 12, 2025**, at…

“TRAP HOUSE BRUNCH & DAY PARTY: Because Nothing Says ‘Classy Brunch’ Like Eating Pancakes Next to a Pile of Suspicious White Powder”
Live

“TRAP HOUSE BRUNCH & DAY PARTY: Because Nothing Says ‘Classy Brunch’ Like Eating Pancakes Next to a Pile of Suspicious White Powder”

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 8, 2025

🚨BREAKING: Atlanta’s “Trap House Brunch” Promises Chaos, Calories, and Questionable Decisions! 🍗🎧 Come *attempt* to dance on a **NEWLY RENOVATED…

DC Jobs Fair: Where Your Dreams Meet the Bureaucracy Monster
Live

DC Jobs Fair: Where Your Dreams Meet the Bureaucracy Monster

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 8, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Desperate Companies Willing to Trade Free Coffee for Human Souls! 🚨 📅 Dec 29, 2023 ⏰ 10:00 AM…

SOL Shogunate Unveiled At The PC Gaming Show: Prepare To Be Mildly Interested
Breaking, Games News

SOL Shogunate Unveiled At The PC Gaming Show: Prepare To Be Mildly Interested

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 7, 2025December 7, 2025

Breaking News: Some Random Studio Thinks They Can Make a Samurai Game in Space 😂. Chaos Manufacturing (never heard of…

‘Men in Black’ Reboot: Because Hollywood Has ZERO Original Ideas
Breaking, Movie News

‘Men in Black’ Reboot: Because Hollywood Has ZERO Original Ideas

FinnDecember 7, 2025December 7, 2025

Hold onto your Neuralyzers, folks, because the cinematic overlords at Sony Pictures are reportedly cooking up another Men in Black…

Netflix to Buy Warner Bros. for Pocket Lint and a Used Tissue
Breaking, Movie News

Netflix to Buy Warner Bros. for Pocket Lint and a Used Tissue

FinnDecember 7, 2025December 7, 2025

🤡 Hold on to your hats, folks, because the clown show has officially arrived! Netflix, in a move so shocking…

Live

“Oops, Baby Talk Too Complicated? Experts Host ‘Toddler-Speak’ Workshop for Grown-Ups Who Still Can’t Gibber”

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 6, 2025

🚨BREAKING: Adults to Learn How to Talk to Babies (Yes, Really)🚨 **📅 Nov 27, 2025**: Watch training videos (don’t worry,…

“Bureaucrats Get Tipsy on Taxpayer Dime in ‘Official’ Happy Hour Sponsored by Robots Who Probably Do Their Jobs Better”
Live

“Bureaucrats Get Tipsy on Taxpayer Dime in ‘Official’ Happy Hour Sponsored by Robots Who Probably Do Their Jobs Better”

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 6, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: DHS Hosts Virtual Happy Hour Because Even Spies Need a Drink 🍸 Brought to you by OrangeSlices AI…

‘Star Wars’ Unwatchable Original Cut Resurrected For 50th Anniversary To Torture Fans
Breaking, Movie News

‘Star Wars’ Unwatchable Original Cut Resurrected For 50th Anniversary To Torture Fans

FinnDecember 5, 2025December 5, 2025

Oh, sweet Galaxy Far, Far Away, it’s been, like, half a freakin’ century since that little indie flick called Star…

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Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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