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Tag: breaking

Crimson Desert’s Next Patch Will Probably Almost Definitely Maybe Add That One Thing You’ve Been Begging For But Let’s Be Real It’s Going To Mess Up Something Else Instead
Breaking, Games News

Crimson Desert’s Next Patch Will Probably Almost Definitely Maybe Add That One Thing You’ve Been Begging For But Let’s Be Real It’s Going To Mess Up Something Else Instead

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 8, 2026May 8, 2026

The never-ending saga of patches and updates for Crimson Desert continues, because who needs a social life, anyway? 🤣 As…

Brendan Fraser Still Trying to Find the Mummy That Ate His Abs
Breaking, Movie News

Brendan Fraser Still Trying to Find the Mummy That Ate His Abs

FinnMay 8, 2026May 8, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some exciting news? 🎉 Brendan Fraser is back, and he’s going to relive…

Legendary Nintendo Designer Takashi Tezuka Finally Tired of Making the Same Mario Game for 42 Years
The End of an Era: Nintendo's Takashi Tezuka Retires, and We're All Doomed 🌪️
Breaking, Games News

Legendary Nintendo Designer Takashi Tezuka Finally Tired of Making the Same Mario Game for 42 Years

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 8, 2026May 8, 2026

The gaming world is mourning the loss of a legend, as Takashi Tezuka, the mastermind behind Mario and The Legend…

Disney+ Randomly Decides to Ruin Your Life by Ending The Bear This June Because Who Needs Happiness Anyway
Breaking, Movie News

Disney+ Randomly Decides to Ruin Your Life by Ending The Bear This June Because Who Needs Happiness Anyway

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 8, 2026May 8, 2026

Breaking news, folks! 🚨️ The final season of The Bear is coming to Disney+ this summer, and we’re all just…

Xbox Just Announced the Most Overhyped Game Ever and It’s a Yakuza Prequel Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough of Those, Plus a Cast That’s More Star-Studded Than Your Grandma’s Quilt and a Release Window That’s Totally Not Getting Delayed
Breaking, Games News

Xbox Just Announced the Most Overhyped Game Ever and It’s a Yakuza Prequel Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough of Those, Plus a Cast That’s More Star-Studded Than Your Grandma’s Quilt and a Release Window That’s Totally Not Getting Delayed

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 7, 2026May 7, 2026

Xbox’s long-awaited Stranger Than Heaven presentation finally dropped, and boy, was it a wild ride 🎢! The biggest question on…

DAVE MUSTAINE: JAMES HETFIELD And I Were Basically The Dynamic Duo Of Metal Except When We Weren’t And I Got Kicked Out
Breaking, Music News

DAVE MUSTAINE: JAMES HETFIELD And I Were Basically The Dynamic Duo Of Metal Except When We Weren’t And I Got Kicked Out

Chord F. DiscordMay 7, 2026May 7, 2026

Breaking news: Dave Mustaine is retiring from music due to a condition that’s making it hard for him to play…

James Cameron Sued for Stealing Actress’ Face and Probably Her Soul Too for His Mega Blockbuster Avatar Because He’s a Creative Genius Like That
Breaking News: Actress Sues James Cameron and Disney for Allegedly Stealing Her Face, Because Who Needs Consent Anyway? 🤑👀
Breaking, Movie News

James Cameron Sued for Stealing Actress’ Face and Probably Her Soul Too for His Mega Blockbuster Avatar Because He’s a Creative Genius Like That

FinnMay 7, 2026May 7, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, Q’orianka Kilcher is suing the big cheeses, James Cameron and The Walt Disney Company,…

Halo Infinite RUINED Forever as Mysterious Halo Next Thingy Probably Means We’re Getting More of the Same Old Stuff and LOL No More Firefight: Gauntlet Who Even Cared Anyway
Breaking, Games News

Halo Infinite RUINED Forever as Mysterious Halo Next Thingy Probably Means We’re Getting More of the Same Old Stuff and LOL No More Firefight: Gauntlet Who Even Cared Anyway

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 7, 2026May 7, 2026

Today is a big day at Halo Studios, folks! 🎉👀 Halo Next has reportedly been uncovered by a new job…

Get Ready for the Most Underwhelming Experience of Your Life: Xbox Showcase Today Will Probably Delay Project Helix Again
Breaking, Events, Games News

Get Ready for the Most Underwhelming Experience of Your Life: Xbox Showcase Today Will Probably Delay Project Helix Again

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 7, 2026May 7, 2026

Get ready for the most epic, life-changing, and totally-not-overhyped announcement in gaming history: the next generation of Xbox is coming!…

Oh No The Apocalypse Is Near Only 282 Whole Entire US Outdoor Theaters Left To Watch Movies Under The Stars And Eat Overpriced Nachos
Breaking, Movie News

Oh No The Apocalypse Is Near Only 282 Whole Entire US Outdoor Theaters Left To Watch Movies Under The Stars And Eat Overpriced Nachos

FinnMay 7, 2026May 7, 2026

Oh joy, summer is finally here, and you know what that means… it’s time to squeeze into a hot car…

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Latest posts

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  • Get Ready for the Most Epic Picnic Fest in History aka The Great Nosh NYC Picnic Festival 2026 Where Youll Definitely Eat Too Much Food
  • ISIS Claims Responsibility For Reflecting Pool Algae
  • Obama Library Cruelly Disenfranchises Millions Of Black Americans By Requiring Photo ID For Entry

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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