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Tag: Camera

Wayne Static’s Ghost Sends Cease-and-Desist to Filmmaker for Unauthorized Biopic of the Man Who Invented the Devil Horns
Breaking, Music News

Wayne Static’s Ghost Sends Cease-and-Desist to Filmmaker for Unauthorized Biopic of the Man Who Invented the Devil Horns

Chord F. DiscordDecember 15, 2025December 15, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Wayne Static’s Ghost Allegedly Sues Living Filmmaker for ‘Unauthorized Vibes’ in Bizarre Legal Drama 🚨 In a turn…

Events

LIFE Public Run 2pm Sat 24.1.26

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 13, 2025

🚨 ATTENTION HUMANS! 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♀️ Join our 4-hour “How to Not Die” workshop! 😵‍💫 Learn to spot suicidal signs & connect…

The Old ‘Street Fighter’ Movie Is Actually Good
Breaking, Movie News

The Old ‘Street Fighter’ Movie Is Actually Good

FinnDecember 13, 2025December 13, 2025

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: A 14-Year-Old’s Birthday Trauma Exposed in Shocking 1994 ‘Street Fighter’ Film Review 🎂💥 So there I was,…

Japan Gets Unwanted Shake Upgrade: Mother Nature Drops Surprise 7.6 Patch Update
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Japan Gets Unwanted Shake Upgrade: Mother Nature Drops Surprise 7.6 Patch Update

Big ElephantDecember 8, 2025December 8, 2025

While a real 7.6 magnitude earthquake shook Japan’s northeastern coast, CNN rushed in with its own aftershock: a hysterical tremor…

I Tried Google’s Smart Glasses and Now My Phone Is Just an Overpriced Pocket Brick
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

I Tried Google’s Smart Glasses and Now My Phone Is Just an Overpriced Pocket Brick

Big ElephantDecember 8, 2025December 8, 2025

Big Tech has finally invented the perfect device for people who think walking into traffic while staring at their phones…

Avengers: Endgame Returns to Theaters to Distract You From Impending Doom
Breaking, Movie News

Avengers: Endgame Returns to Theaters to Distract You From Impending Doom

FinnDecember 5, 2025December 5, 2025

OMG! 😱 Did you hear the earth-shattering news? Avengers: Endgame, the movie that made you cry harder than when your…

LAMB OF GOD Drops New Single ‘Parasocial Christ’ – Prepare to Worship Your Screen
Breaking, Music News

LAMB OF GOD Drops New Single ‘Parasocial Christ’ – Prepare to Worship Your Screen

Chord F. DiscordNovember 21, 2025November 21, 2025

LAMB OF GOD, those elder statesmen of metalcore dad-rock, have graced us with “Parasocial Christ,” a three-minute sonic tantrum designed…

Ghost of Tsushima 2: Electric Boogaloo Coming Next Week, Get Hyped
Breaking, Games News

Ghost of Tsushima 2: Electric Boogaloo Coming Next Week, Get Hyped

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 19, 2025November 19, 2025

Oh, NO WAY! 😱 Sucker Punch, those AMAZING devs who brought you the groundbreaking, totally original IP Ghost of Yōtei…

Shinedown Dumps New Single ‘Searchlight’ Like We Asked For It
Breaking, Music News

Shinedown Dumps New Single ‘Searchlight’ Like We Asked For It

Chord F. DiscordNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

SHINEDOWN, those purveyors of sonic wallpaper, have graced us with a new ditty, “Searchlight”, via their overlords at Atlantic Records.…

The Night Manager: Season 2 – Prepare for More Snoozefests and Plot Twists You Saw Coming
Breaking, Music News

The Night Manager: Season 2 – Prepare for More Snoozefests and Plot Twists You Saw Coming

FinnNovember 10, 2025November 10, 2025

Okay, folks, buckle up because eight years (!!!) after the “explosive” (🙄) Season One finale, Prime Video and the BBC…

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Latest posts

  • Tekken 8 Now Ruined by Yujiro Hanma from Baki Because Who Needs Actual Tekken Characters Anyway and Also Harada Still Can’t Get Over His Waffle House Trauma
  • SEVENDUST’s LAJON WITHERSPOON Reveals Shocking Truth: We’re All Just A Bunch Of Equally Important Dudes With Beards And Guitar Riffs Who Can’t Decide On Anything
  • Simplification des Réglementations et de la Fiscalité pour les Gens qui Aiment se Faire Mal au Cerveau avec des Tas de Papierasserie
  • Dying Fetus at Maryland Deathfest 2026 (05/24/2026, Day 4)
  • Cephalic Carnage at Maryland Deathfest 2026 (05/24/2026, Day 4)

Editorial
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Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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