Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: CD Projekt Red

The Witcher 3 Is Getting One Last Surprise Expansion Because You Clearly Didn’t Spend Enough Hours of Your Life Playing It Already and Geralt Is Coming Back to Ruin Your Social Life Again
Breaking, Games News

The Witcher 3 Is Getting One Last Surprise Expansion Because You Clearly Didn’t Spend Enough Hours of Your Life Playing It Already and Geralt Is Coming Back to Ruin Your Social Life Again

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 27, 2026May 27, 2026

Breaking News: CD PROJEKT RED Finally Announces The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt – Songs of the Past, Because You Clearly…

Night City 2045 is Totally Not Jealous of Cyberpunk 2077’s Success and Definitely Doesn’t Need to One Up Them
Breaking, Games News

Night City 2045 is Totally Not Jealous of Cyberpunk 2077’s Success and Definitely Doesn’t Need to One Up Them

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 21, 2026April 21, 2026

Get ready for another exciting installment in the Cyberpunk 2077 universe, because CD Projekt Red is back with a brand…

Cyberpunk 2077’s New PS5 Pro Update Finally Fixes Everything Except the Part Where It Still Looks Like a Low Res PS3 Game
Breaking, Games News

Cyberpunk 2077’s New PS5 Pro Update Finally Fixes Everything Except the Part Where It Still Looks Like a Low Res PS3 Game

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 8, 2026April 8, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys in for a treat 🎉. CD Projekt Red, the studio behind the super-duper, wildly popular…

April Fools 2026: Because You Clearly Didn’t Get Pranked Enough Already This Year
Breaking

April Fools 2026: Because You Clearly Didn’t Get Pranked Enough Already This Year

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 1, 2026April 1, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some epic April Fools’ Day jokes? 🤣 Because we’ve got a whole list…

Cyberpunk TCG Kickstarter Laughs at Goals, Destroys Them in 5 Minutes Flat
Cyberpunk TCG Kickstarter Makes $100k in 5 Minutes, Proving We’ll Buy Anything with Neon and Grit
Breaking, Games News

Cyberpunk TCG Kickstarter Laughs at Goals, Destroys Them in 5 Minutes Flat

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 18, 2026March 18, 2026

In a stunning display of fandom that makes NFT collectors look like penny-pinchers, WeirdCo’s Cyberpunk TCG just raised $7.9 million…

CD Projekt Red Slaps The Shit Out Of The Only Person Still Playing Cyberpunk 2077, Modder Cries In VR
Breaking, Games News

CD Projekt Red Slaps The Shit Out Of The Only Person Still Playing Cyberpunk 2077, Modder Cries In VR

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 23, 2026January 23, 2026

🎮 Oh No, Not Again! The Great VR Modder Meltdown of 2026 🎮 Hold onto your headsets, folks, because the…

CD Projekt Red Hates Fun, Ruins Cyberpunk 2077 VR Mod With DMCA Strike
Breaking, Games News

CD Projekt Red Hates Fun, Ruins Cyberpunk 2077 VR Mod With DMCA Strike

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 20, 2026January 20, 2026

Well, well, well, looks like the corporate suits at CD Projekt Red have finally decided to unleash the legal dogs…

Report: The Witcher 3 Might Get A New DLC In May 2026—Because CD Projekt Really Missed Us Paying For More Than 10 Years
Breaking

Report: The Witcher 3 Might Get A New DLC In May 2026—Because CD Projekt Really Missed Us Paying For More Than 10 Years

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 5, 2026January 5, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: The Witcher 3 is Rising from the Grave Like a Reanimated Kikimora in May 2026 🧟‍♂️⚔️📅 Yes, you…

Cyberpunk 2077 2pointOMG Update: Now Your Car Can Also Glitch Through Walls
Breaking, Games News

Cyberpunk 2077 2pointOMG Update: Now Your Car Can Also Glitch Through Walls

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 16, 2025July 16, 2025

Well, well, well, choombas. Looks like CD Projekt RED is back at it again with the 2.3 update for Cyberpunk…

Wake Up, Macaroni, Cyberpunk 2077 Wants to be Your Roommate
Breaking, Games News

Wake Up, Macaroni, Cyberpunk 2077 Wants to be Your Roommate

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

OMG! 🤩 CD Projekt Red, bless their little hearts, is FINALLY gracing the Mac peasants with Cyberpunk 2077. Yes, you…

Posts pagination

1 2 Next

Latest posts

  • Liberal snowflakes freak out over Trump’s impending election domination wins
  • Liberal actor whines about Juneteenth being supposedly erased by Trump
  • Fake news Italy PM claims Trump lied about her begging him
  • Retirement Income Dilemmas Because You Clearly Didn’t Save Enough
  • Carla Vasques Spills the Tea on Deficiency and Common Sense Policies or Lack Thereof

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}