Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Chris Pratt

Super Mario Galaxy Movie Invades Cosmos With Fox McCloud, Because Why Not Throw Star Fox Into the Mix?
Nintendo just threw Starfox fans a bone, and yes, it's furry, blue, and flying an Arwing into theaters
Breaking, Movie News

Super Mario Galaxy Movie Invades Cosmos With Fox McCloud, Because Why Not Throw Star Fox Into the Mix?

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 26, 2026March 26, 2026

Oh look, Nintendo decided to drop a new character poster right before the release of *The Super Mario Galaxy Movie*,…

Behold the Mighty Mortal Chris Pratt and His Tiny Sidekick: Live-Action Kratos and Atreus Finally Graced by the Gods of Hollywood
Amazon Reveals God of War Cast, Fans Everywhere Now Praying for Mercy
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

Behold the Mighty Mortal Chris Pratt and His Tiny Sidekick: Live-Action Kratos and Atreus Finally Graced by the Gods of Hollywood

FinnFebruary 27, 2026February 27, 2026

Well folks, the day we’ve all been dreading is finally here. Amazon has graced us with the first official image…

Avengers: Doomsday – Which D-List Cameo Will Disney+ Drag Out of Retirement This Time
Breaking, Movie News

Avengers: Doomsday – Which D-List Cameo Will Disney+ Drag Out of Retirement This Time

FinnJanuary 27, 2026January 27, 2026

Hold onto your spandex, folks! The “Avengers: Doomsday” cast list has ballooned to 27✨✨✨✨names—roughly the population of a small moon…

Super Mario Galaxy Movie Direct: Yoshi is Here to Eat Your Wallet and Stomp Your Nostalgia
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

Super Mario Galaxy Movie Direct: Yoshi is Here to Eat Your Wallet and Stomp Your Nostalgia

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 25, 2026January 25, 2026

🚨 ** BREAKING NEWS ** 🚨 The Mushroom Kingdom’s favorite plumbing duo have officially traded their overalls for diapers in…

Nintendo Confirms Super Mario Galaxy Movie Direct This Weekend And Oh God The Plumber Is Back In Space To Make You Cry About Luma Again
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

Nintendo Confirms Super Mario Galaxy Movie Direct This Weekend And Oh God The Plumber Is Back In Space To Make You Cry About Luma Again

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 23, 2026January 23, 2026

Brace yourselves, Star Road commuters! 🚀 Nintendo is officially panicking that you forgot about their space opera sequel and has…

Astronauts But Make It Drama Queens – Watch the Trailer for This Documentary That Probably Took 10 Years to Film
Breaking, Movie News

Astronauts But Make It Drama Queens – Watch the Trailer for This Documentary That Probably Took 10 Years to Film

FinnJanuary 21, 2026January 21, 2026

Hold onto your helmets, Earthlings, because a new documentary is dropping that proves once and for all that women really…

The Original X-Men Crash the Avengers: Doomsday Party and Bring a Demolished X-Mansion as a Housewarming Gift
Breaking, Movie News

The Original X-Men Crash the Avengers: Doomsday Party and Bring a Demolished X-Mansion as a Housewarming Gift

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 6, 2026January 6, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: The Avengers Have Officially Run Out of New Ideas and Are Now Recycling Their Parents’ Old Costumes 🚨…

Super Mario Galaxy Movie Trailer: Prepare for Liftoff (and Disappointment)
Breaking, Movie News

Super Mario Galaxy Movie Trailer: Prepare for Liftoff (and Disappointment)

FinnNovember 12, 2025November 12, 2025

The Super Mario Galaxy Movie is allegedly an animated film based on the world of Super Mario Bros., continuing the…

Nintendo’s Movie Rampage: Prepare for a Never-Ending Stream of Pixelated Blockbusters
Breaking, Movie News

Nintendo’s Movie Rampage: Prepare for a Never-Ending Stream of Pixelated Blockbusters

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 5, 2025November 5, 2025

Well, well, well, look who’s decided to grace the silver screen again! 🙄 Nintendo, bless their hearts, is apparently doubling…

Super Mario: The Title Strikes Back (And It’s Official, So Deal With It)
Breaking, Movie News

Super Mario: The Title Strikes Back (And It’s Official, So Deal With It)

FinnSeptember 12, 2025September 12, 2025

😂 It’s official, folks! The sequel to the critically acclaimed (by toddlers and Chris Pratt stans) Super Mario Bros. Movie…

Posts pagination

1 2 Next

Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 22 2026
  • !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • TikTok Pays $400 Million For Breaking Child Privacy Not That Badly
  • Al Sharpton Somehow Manages To Get Sued Again
  • ENHYPEN Unveils New Sound with THE SIN BLISS

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.