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Tag: Christmas

Social Distortion Finally Crawls Out Of Rock ‘n’ Roll Grave In Time For May 2026
Breaking

Social Distortion Finally Crawls Out Of Rock ‘n’ Roll Grave In Time For May 2026

Chord F. DiscordDecember 16, 2025December 17, 2025

Mike Ness, the leather-lunged, tattooed oracle of SoCal punk rock, has finally emerged from his recording cave to announce that…

AMY LEE: EVANESCENCE’s New Album Will Arrive In 2026—Just In Time To Save Our Souls From Eternal Silence
Breaking, Music News

AMY LEE: EVANESCENCE’s New Album Will Arrive In 2026—Just In Time To Save Our Souls From Eternal Silence

Chord F. DiscordDecember 16, 2025December 16, 2025

Amy Lee, the queen of goth-tastic angst and dramatic piano flourishes, has finally blessed humanity with the news we’ve all…

Volunteer for Free Childcare While We Bribe Minions with Toys
Live

Volunteer for Free Childcare While We Bribe Minions with Toys

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 16, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Santa’s Union Rep Demands Better Benefits as Holiday Experience Descends Into Chaos 🎅💼 On Saturday December 20 from…

Uncle Sam Finally Identifies the Guys Who Signed Up for Adventure but Got Ambushed in Syria Instead
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Uncle Sam Finally Identifies the Guys Who Signed Up for Adventure but Got Ambushed in Syria Instead

Big ElephantDecember 15, 2025December 15, 2025

The two US Army soldiers killed in Syria on Saturday were Sgt. Edgar Brian Torres Tovar, 25, of Des Moines,…

Stranger Things 5 – Volume 2 Trailer Drops and the Kids Haven’t Grown Up Yet
Breaking, Movie News

Stranger Things 5 – Volume 2 Trailer Drops and the Kids Haven’t Grown Up Yet

FinnDecember 15, 2025December 15, 2025

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: The World Might End on Boxing Day, So Cancel Your Sales! 🚨 In a shocking turn of…

Gavin Rossdale’s 12 Days of Dogmas: Because Even Bushes Need to Rescue Puppies
Breaking, Music News

Gavin Rossdale’s 12 Days of Dogmas: Because Even Bushes Need to Rescue Puppies

Chord F. DiscordDecember 14, 2025December 14, 2025

🎸🐾 Rock Star Gives Up Guitar Solos to Become Professional Dog Influencer in “12 Days of Dogmas” Campaign 🐶📸 In…

JOHN COOPER: SKILLET’s New Album Will Prog-It-Up Like A Crockpot Full Of Metal
Breaking, Music News

JOHN COOPER: SKILLET’s New Album Will Prog-It-Up Like A Crockpot Full Of Metal

Chord F. DiscordDecember 14, 2025December 14, 2025

SKILLET Frontman John Cooper Drops Bombshell: “We Might Do Something Cool in 2026… Maybe. If We Remember.” 🎸💥 In a…

Latinas Forever Serve Tamales and Drama at Their Christmas Karol Brunch
Live

Latinas Forever Serve Tamales and Drama at Their Christmas Karol Brunch

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 13, 2025

Sunday, December 14th, 2025 | 12PM – 4PM at SPARK Social SF, 601 Mission Bay Blvd N, San Francisco, CA…

New Christmas Movies to Watch in 2025 (Because Netflix Finally Ran Out of Reality Shows)
Breaking, Movie News

New Christmas Movies to Watch in 2025 (Because Netflix Finally Ran Out of Reality Shows)

FinnDecember 12, 2025December 12, 2025

‘Tis the season for brand new Christmas movies, because apparently, we haven’t suffered enough yet. 🎄 As we plunge headfirst…

Why Mortgage Rates Today Are More Unpredictable Than Your Ex’s Mood Swings
Rate Cuts! Mortgage Rates! The Fed Just Fed Us Another Plate of Leftist Propaganda!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Why Mortgage Rates Today Are More Unpredictable Than Your Ex’s Mood Swings

Big ElephantDecember 11, 2025December 11, 2025

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the Fed trying to make us all feel better about the economy they’ve been…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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