Listen: METALLICA’s JAMES HETFIELD Drops Heavy Metal Ornaments on ‘A Visit From St. Nicholas’
James Hetfield vs. Santa Claus: The Epic Battle for Christmas Supremacy Begins Now (Spoiler: He Wins) 🎸🎅 In a move…
Tag: Christmas
Hugh Jackman trades claws for wool in The Sheep Detectives – baaah humbug!
Move over Sherlock Holmes, there’s a new crime-fighting duo in town—two sheep who’ve traded their wool for trench coats and…
Trump’s New “Warrior Dividend” Means Soldiers Get Stock Options Instead of Showers
Trump’s “Warrior Dividend” Bonuses: A $1,776 Gift to Troops—Paid for with Their Own Housing Money! In a move that’s equal…
Jack Black and Paul Rudd Try to Out-Camp the Original Anaconda and Fail Spectacularly
🚨BREAKING NEWS: Two middle-aged men have decided to rewrite film history by remaking a movie that was already a masterpiece…
Social Distortion Finally Crawls Out Of Rock ‘n’ Roll Grave In Time For May 2026
Mike Ness, the leather-lunged, tattooed oracle of SoCal punk rock, has finally emerged from his recording cave to announce that…
AMY LEE: EVANESCENCE’s New Album Will Arrive In 2026—Just In Time To Save Our Souls From Eternal Silence
Amy Lee, the queen of goth-tastic angst and dramatic piano flourishes, has finally blessed humanity with the news we’ve all…
Volunteer for Free Childcare While We Bribe Minions with Toys
🚨 BREAKING: Santa’s Union Rep Demands Better Benefits as Holiday Experience Descends Into Chaos 🎅💼 On Saturday December 20 from…
Uncle Sam Finally Identifies the Guys Who Signed Up for Adventure but Got Ambushed in Syria Instead
The two US Army soldiers killed in Syria on Saturday were Sgt. Edgar Brian Torres Tovar, 25, of Des Moines,…
Stranger Things 5 – Volume 2 Trailer Drops and the Kids Haven’t Grown Up Yet
🚨 BREAKING NEWS: The World Might End on Boxing Day, So Cancel Your Sales! 🚨 In a shocking turn of…
Gavin Rossdale’s 12 Days of Dogmas: Because Even Bushes Need to Rescue Puppies
🎸🐾 Rock Star Gives Up Guitar Solos to Become Professional Dog Influencer in “12 Days of Dogmas” Campaign 🐶📸 In…