Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Cinema

Witness the Cinematic Chainsaw Symphony: Texas Chainsaw Massacre Docu-Blast on Glorious Blu-Ray
Breaking, Movie News

Witness the Cinematic Chainsaw Symphony: Texas Chainsaw Massacre Docu-Blast on Glorious Blu-Ray

FinnOctober 20, 2025October 20, 2025

Lightbulb Film Distribution, those purveyors of cinematic… stuff… ðŸ’Ą, have bravely announced that a feature-length snooze-fest ðŸ˜ī about, allegedly, one…

Cemetery Cinema: Watching Dracula With Actual Vampires
Events

Cemetery Cinema: Watching Dracula With Actual Vampires

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 20, 2025

**Oh, great! 🙄 Another chance to “enjoy the beauty” of Elmwood’s Cemetery! ðŸĪĄ Sponsored by Baltz & Sons Concrete! ðŸŠĶ…

Malcolm D. Who? Oh, the Director Guy
Events

Malcolm D. Who? Oh, the Director Guy

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 20, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Join Malcolm D. Lee, the genius ðŸĪŠ behind cinematic masterpieces like The Best Man and Girls Trip, for…

QDOC 2025: The Only Pass You’ll Ever Need (to Watch Docs, Probably)
Events

QDOC 2025: The Only Pass You’ll Ever Need (to Watch Docs, Probably)

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 20, 2025

Your 2025 pass grants ONE whole admission to ALL screenings. WOW! ðŸĪŠ Get your pass at the PASS PICK-UP TOAST…

Tim Burton’s “Ed Wood” on REAL Film? What is this, 1994?
Events

Tim Burton’s “Ed Wood” on REAL Film? What is this, 1994?

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 18, 2025

**OMG! 🙄 Secret Movie Club presents: Tim Burton’s ED WOOD 🎎 (1994) on GLORIOUS 35mm 🎞ïļ (maybe, we have a…

Hollywood’s Epic Fail: Come Watch Our Movie & Toss Us Some Cash
Events

Hollywood’s Epic Fail: Come Watch Our Movie & Toss Us Some Cash

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 18, 2025

**OMG! 🙄 Robert Silver, a 7-time “award-winning” director, is gracing The New Parkway Cinema, 474 24th St, Oakland, CA, on…

Oh, Great, Another Poetry Doc: Prepare for Existential Dread with Andrea Gibson and Megan Falley’s Trailer
Breaking, Movie News

Oh, Great, Another Poetry Doc: Prepare for Existential Dread with Andrea Gibson and Megan Falley’s Trailer

FinnOctober 17, 2025October 17, 2025

Apple Original Films, bless their cotton socks, has dropped a trailer and poster for “Come See Me in the Good…

Silent Night, More Like Hilarious Fright: New Trailer for That Remake We Didn’t Ask For
Breaking, Movie News

Silent Night, More Like Hilarious Fright: New Trailer for That Remake We Didn’t Ask For

FinnOctober 17, 2025October 17, 2025

Oh, great, another “twisted reimagining”! 🙄 Because what the world REALLY needs is yet another unnecessary remake, this time of…

“A Desert” – Yawn, Another Neo-Noir Horror Trailer to Skip
Breaking, Movie News

“A Desert” – Yawn, Another Neo-Noir Horror Trailer to Skip

FinnOctober 17, 2025October 17, 2025

Oh, look, another movie about someone having a mid-life crisis! 🙄 This time, it’s a photographer who’s clearly lost his…

Manor of Darkness: Prepare to Rewatch Your Life (and Die a Lot)
Breaking, Movie News

Manor of Darkness: Prepare to Rewatch Your Life (and Die a Lot)

FinnOctober 17, 2025October 17, 2025

Oh, look, another “horror” movie hitting the digital shelves! 🙄 Ridder Films, bless their cotton socks, have joined forces with…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 40 41 42 … 71 Next

Latest posts

  • Rick Astley Still Not Retired Apparently
  • Duran Duran’s umpteenth farewell gift, Free To Love remixed to death apparently
  • More Unnecessary Sequels Abound Resonance Plague Tale Is Back
  • Todd Howard Just Watched Blade and Suddenly Bethesda’s Next Vampire Game is Going to be Totally Not a Disaster and Definitely Not a Rehashed Mess with Glorious Glitches and a 500 GB Day One Patch
  • DRAGON BALL XENOVERSE 3 Hands-Off Preview – Because We Clearly Haven’t Milked This Franchise Enough Yet

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright ÂĐ 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}