Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: commerce

Retail Sales Plummet Because Who Needs Stuff Anyway
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Retail Sales Plummet Because Who Needs Stuff Anyway

Big ElephantAugust 14, 2026August 14, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The US economy is showing some cracks, and I’m not just…

Barbie 2 probably wont happen because miracles do occur in Hollywood sometimes
Breaking, Movie News

Barbie 2 probably wont happen because miracles do occur in Hollywood sometimes

FinnAugust 12, 2026August 12, 2026

It’s official: the Barbie sequel that was all but guaranteed after the first film’s massive $1.4 billion haul in 2023…

Debt Keeping Up With Americans Just Fine Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Debt Keeping Up With Americans Just Fine Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 11, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest debt numbers, and I’ve got to say, it’s a mixed…

Mortgage Rates Reach New High Because You Need More Stress
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Mortgage Rates Reach New High Because You Need More Stress

Big ElephantJuly 30, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems that the war in Iran has been going on…

Inflation Gauge Takes Brief Summer Vacation From Ruining Everything
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Inflation Gauge Takes Brief Summer Vacation From Ruining Everything

Big ElephantJuly 30, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Inflation is down, but don’t get too excited, it’s likely just…

EBay’s Unique Customer Service Includes Free Cockroaches For Some Users
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

EBay’s Unique Customer Service Includes Free Cockroaches For Some Users

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. EBay and three of its former top executives have agreed to…

Comey’s Seashell Saga Somehow Still Ongoing
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Comey’s Seashell Saga Somehow Still Ongoing

Big ElephantJuly 27, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The seashell threats case against former FBI Director James Comey is…

Trump Still Really Into Tariffs Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Still Really Into Tariffs Apparently

Big ElephantJuly 24, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The trade war is back, and it’s getting uglier by the…

Iran Blocks the Strait So Neighbors Take the Scenic Route
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Iran Blocks the Strait So Neighbors Take the Scenic Route

Big ElephantJuly 24, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Brett McGurk, a CNN global affairs analyst, is saying that the…

Trump Ruins Saudi Nuclear Deal In Record Time Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Ruins Saudi Nuclear Deal In Record Time Somehow

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The latest news about the civilian nuclear agreement between the United…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 2 3 Next

Latest posts

  • Trash Panda in Greensboro, NC (09/16/2026)
  • Fleshcrawl in Greensboro, NC (09/16/2026)
  • Jungle Rot in Greensboro, NC (09/16/2026)
  • Vader in Greensboro, NC (09/16/2026)
  • Travis Kelce Gets Sacked by Ponzi Scheme for Millions

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.