Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Events
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Congress

FAA to Literally Ground Your Vacation if Congress Keeps Playing Chicken
Elephant Reads CNN

FAA to Literally Ground Your Vacation if Congress Keeps Playing Chicken

Big ElephantNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

CNN, or as I like to call them, the Communist News Network, is at it again with their “Global Perspectives”…

Ready to be Bored? Detroit’s “Love” Premiere: Guaranteed Disappointment
Events

Ready to be Bored? Detroit’s “Love” Premiere: Guaranteed Disappointment

Chuck B. BallsyNovember 3, 2025

Ready to be catfished? 🤣 OWN’s “Ready to Love: Detroit” Season 11 Premiere🎉is coming! Get ready for an “unforgettable” night🤪…

Ready to be Bored? Detroit’s “Love” Premiere: A Red Carpet to Nowhere
Events

Ready to be Bored? Detroit’s “Love” Premiere: A Red Carpet to Nowhere

Chuck B. BallsyNovember 3, 2025

**Ready to be catfished? Join the Season 11 Premiere of OWN’s dating dumpster fire🔥. Get ready for the most cringe…

Justice Department Says Trump Doesn’t Need Your Permission to Blow Up Imaginary Drug Boats, Congress Cries About It
Elephant Reads CNN

Justice Department Says Trump Doesn’t Need Your Permission to Blow Up Imaginary Drug Boats, Congress Cries About It

Big ElephantNovember 2, 2025November 2, 2025

Folks, can you believe this? Our glorious President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is taking out the trash – literally!…

Hegseth Throws Military Officials in the Congressional Mosh Pit Without Permission: A CNN Political Clown Show
Elephant Reads CNN

Hegseth Throws Military Officials in the Congressional Mosh Pit Without Permission: A CNN Political Clown Show

Big ElephantNovember 2, 2025November 2, 2025

Another day, another deep state attempt to undermine our glorious President Trump! Now they’re whining that Secretary of Defense Hegseth…

Wendy’s: More Like Wendy’s-aster am I right
Elephant Reads CNN

Wendy’s: More Like Wendy’s-aster am I right

Big ElephantOctober 31, 2025October 31, 2025

Another American institution bites the dust thanks to the woke mob! Wendy’s, that bastion of square burgers and frosty goodness,…

Obamacare Users Crying Over Expiring Subsidies? Tell Us Your sob story | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

Obamacare Users Crying Over Expiring Subsidies? Tell Us Your sob story | CNN Politics

Big ElephantOctober 27, 2025October 26, 2025

Oh, the horror! Obamacare premiums set to skyrocket in 2026 if Congress doesn’t keep the gravy train of “enhanced” subsidies…

CNN Thinks Reagan Is Rolling In His Grave Because Trump Put Tariffs On Stuff
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Thinks Reagan Is Rolling In His Grave Because Trump Put Tariffs On Stuff

Big ElephantOctober 25, 2025October 25, 2025

The liberal media is trying to paint President Trump as someone who doesn’t respect Republican values! As if! President Trump…

Spinal Tap’s Stonehenge Debacle: Still Milking It in 2026
Breaking, Music News

Spinal Tap’s Stonehenge Debacle: Still Milking It in 2026

Chord F. DiscordOctober 24, 2025October 24, 2025

Bleecker Street, bless their tiny, misguided hearts, has apparently thrown some cash at Vertigo Live and that poor sap Rob…

Nuke Watchdogs to Nap: Brace for Atomic Armageddon (Maybe)
Elephant Reads CNN

Nuke Watchdogs to Nap: Brace for Atomic Armageddon (Maybe)

Big ElephantOctober 19, 2025October 19, 2025

Oh, the horror! The Libs are at it again, trying to defund our NUCLEAR STOCKPILE! As if we don’t have…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 7 8 9 … 13 Next

Latest posts

  • Judge Stomps on Feds Over Trans Kids’ Med Records
  • New ‘Jackass’ Trailer Shows Aging Johnny Knoxville Trying To Climb Staircase Without Handrail
  • Thune Tells Trump No Again LOL
  • Because You Clearly Needed More FIFA Sponsored Stuff
  • Batman: Because Gotham Wasnt Already Sick of Him Season Two Trailer Finally Arrives to Annoy the Joker Some More

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}