Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Dave Mustaine

DAVID ELLEFSON: From Bassist to Trust Fund Baby in One Easy Step
Breaking, Music News

DAVID ELLEFSON: From Bassist to Trust Fund Baby in One Easy Step

Chord F. DiscordAugust 19, 2025August 19, 2025

In a recent interview with the highly intellectual and not-at-all-clickbaity “Brutally Delicious” podcast, ex-MEGADETH bassist David Ellefson (aka Junior, aka…

MEGADETH Announces Final Album in 2026, Followed by a ‘Farewell’ Tour (Until the Next Reunion, That Is)
Breaking, Music News

MEGADETH Announces Final Album in 2026, Followed by a ‘Farewell’ Tour (Until the Next Reunion, That Is)

Chord F. DiscordAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

OMG! 😱 DAVE MUSTAINE, the ginger overlord of MEGADETH, has graced us with his infinite wisdom (or maybe he just…

Ex-MEGADETH Bassist Ellefson Thinks OZZY Is The New King, Apparently
Breaking, Music News

Ex-MEGADETH Bassist Ellefson Thinks OZZY Is The New King, Apparently

Chord F. DiscordJuly 25, 2025July 25, 2025

Oh, the drama! On Wednesday, July 23, the man, the myth, the legend (of getting kicked out of MEGADETH), David…

MEGADETH Sumo-Sized Fail: Round 2 of Embarrassment
Breaking, Movie News

MEGADETH Sumo-Sized Fail: Round 2 of Embarrassment

Chord F. DiscordJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

Oh my god, can you even believe this? MEGADETH, those geriatric thrash metal dudes, are STILL trying to stay relevant…

Ozzy Osbourne Refuses Megadeth at Final Black Sabbath Show After Confusing Them with McDonald’s
“Mustaine Is a Happy Meal,” Claims Ozzy in Late-Stage Confusion
Music News

Ozzy Osbourne Refuses Megadeth at Final Black Sabbath Show After Confusing Them with McDonald’s

Chord F. DiscordJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

At what was supposed to be a legendary farewell concert for Black Sabbath in Birmingham, UK, one key band was…

METALLICA: PLUGINZ Milks Cliff Burton’s Corpse for Cash with Useless Jack Rack Collection
Breaking, Music News

METALLICA: PLUGINZ Milks Cliff Burton’s Corpse for Cash with Useless Jack Rack Collection

Chord F. DiscordJune 19, 2025June 23, 2025

Alright, buckle up, metalheads (and metal-adjacent folks who accidentally clicked on this)! 🤘 Pluginz, those masterminds of musical merchandise, are…

RICK HUNOLT Bravely Claims EXODUS Made METALLICA And SLAYER Who They Are Today
Breaking, Music News

RICK HUNOLT Bravely Claims EXODUS Made METALLICA And SLAYER Who They Are Today

Chord F. DiscordJune 19, 2025June 19, 2025

So, some dude named Rick Hunolt, formerly of some band called EXODUS (never heard of ’em 🤷‍♂️), graced the “Reckless”…

MEGADETH Celebrates 40 Years of Murdery Business with a Jack Rack Collab That’ll Make You Say “Peace Sells… But Who’s Buying This?”
Breaking, Music News

MEGADETH Celebrates 40 Years of Murdery Business with a Jack Rack Collab That’ll Make You Say “Peace Sells… But Who’s Buying This?”

Chord F. DiscordJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Music lifestyle brand Pluginz, because apparently, music needs a lifestyle now 🙄, is cranking the lameness up to eleven with…

VIMIC Dusts Off Their Instruments for a Touching Tribute to the One and Only JOEY JORDISON (No, Really, They Are)
Breaking

VIMIC Dusts Off Their Instruments for a Touching Tribute to the One and Only JOEY JORDISON (No, Really, They Are)

Chord F. DiscordJune 3, 2025June 3, 2025

Alright, metalheads and drama queens, gather ’round! 🤘 Because after a Kickstarter campaign that somehow tricked fans into donating over…

Dave Mustaine’s Delusional Rant: I Basically Invented Metallica, You’re Welcome
Breaking

Dave Mustaine’s Delusional Rant: I Basically Invented Metallica, You’re Welcome

Chord F. DiscordMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

So, Dave Mustaine, bless his pointy-guitar-loving heart, did another interview. This time, with some ex-Navy SEAL/CIA dude, because, you know,…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 2 3 4 Next

Latest posts

  • Sometime in February in Charlotte, NC (09/11/2026)
  • Hinayana in Charlotte, NC (09/11/2026)
  • Fires in the Distance in Charlotte, NC (09/11/2026)
  • Mötley Crüe in Houston, TX (09/11/2026)
  • Tesla in Houston, TX (09/11/2026)

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.