Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Death Metal

EXODUS Unleashes ‘Goliath’ Title Track Music Video – Because the World Needed More Epic Biblical References
EXODUS Announces "Goliath" Album, Fans Prepare for Mosh Pit Retirement
Breaking, Music News

EXODUS Unleashes ‘Goliath’ Title Track Music Video – Because the World Needed More Epic Biblical References

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 18, 2026February 18, 2026

The Bay Area thrash titans EXODUS have finally unveiled their twelfth studio album, “Goliath,” scheduled for release on March 20,…

Nick Barker: The Thunderous Tales of a Blast Beat Legend, Now in Book Form (No Need to Double-Kick Your Way Through It)
Breaking, Music News

Nick Barker: The Thunderous Tales of a Blast Beat Legend, Now in Book Form (No Need to Double-Kick Your Way Through It)

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 16, 2026February 16, 2026

Well, well, well… look who’s finally decided to spill the beans—Nick Barker, the legendary blast-beat machine himself, is writing an…

Macabre in Raleigh, NC (02/14/2026)
Videos

Macabre in Raleigh, NC (02/14/2026)

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 15, 2026

Death Metal from Turnersville, New Jersey Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan…

Incantation in Raleigh, NC (02/14/2026)
Videos

Incantation in Raleigh, NC (02/14/2026)

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 15, 2026

Death Metal from New Jersey Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of…

A Book About Canadian Death/Thrash/Crossover Pioneers SLAUGHTER Is Coming to Remind You That Yes, Canada Has More Than Maple Syrup and Apologies
Breaking, Music News

A Book About Canadian Death/Thrash/Crossover Pioneers SLAUGHTER Is Coming to Remind You That Yes, Canada Has More Than Maple Syrup and Apologies

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 9, 2026February 9, 2026

Attention, all you underground metal geeks and tape-trading nerds — gather ’round for the literary event of the century (or…

JOHN TARDY Says OBITUARY Plans To Brainstorm Album Ideas For 2027—Because Who Needs Urgency?
Breaking, Music News

JOHN TARDY Says OBITUARY Plans To Brainstorm Album Ideas For 2027—Because Who Needs Urgency?

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 7, 2026February 7, 2026

Oh, look, John Tardy has ideas for a new album. Eventually. Maybe. 🪦🎸 In a world where bands drop albums…

Ex-MORBID ANGEL Drummer PETE SANDOVAL Finally Gets Diagnosis: Turns Out He’s Just Autistic, Not a Death Metal Demon
Breaking, Music News

Ex-MORBID ANGEL Drummer PETE SANDOVAL Finally Gets Diagnosis: Turns Out He’s Just Autistic, Not a Death Metal Demon

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 6, 2026February 6, 2026

Holy Double Bass, Batman! Pete Sandoval Finally Discovers Why He’s So Good at Drumming—Autism! Move over, Lars Ulrich—there’s a new…

IN FLAMES Wakes Up From Decade-Long Nap, Decides to Make Album 15 Because Why Not
Breaking, Music News

IN FLAMES Wakes Up From Decade-Long Nap, Decides to Make Album 15 Because Why Not

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 4, 2026February 4, 2026

IN FLAMES Starts Recording 15th Album Because Why Stop at 14? Swedish/American metallers IN FLAMES have entered a Los Angeles…

OBITUARY’s Corpse-Crawling Carnival 2026: Death Metal Grandpas Gallivanting & Rotting Across America
Breaking, Live, Music News

OBITUARY’s Corpse-Crawling Carnival 2026: Death Metal Grandpas Gallivanting & Rotting Across America

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 28, 2026January 28, 2026

Hold onto your grandmother’s ashes, folks, because Florida’s favorite crypt-keepers, OBITUARY, are dragging their rotting carcasses out of the swamp…

Knoll in Charlotte, NC (01/28/2026)
Videos

Knoll in Charlotte, NC (01/28/2026)

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 28, 2026

Death metal noise from Memphis, TN Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 6 7 8 … 21 Next

Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump cuts better deal for Gordie Howe bridge opening July 27th
  • LATEST PROPHECY Donald posts on Truth Social on July 11 2026
  • Hatebreed in Houston, TX (07/10/2026)
  • The Last Ten Seconds Of Life in Houston, TX (07/10/2026)
  • Snuffed On Sight in Houston, TX (07/10/2026)

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}