Breaking News: Disney Execs Secretly Plot to Turn Fortnite into a Never Ending Parade of Singing and Dancing Characters
Breaking News: Disney Might Buy Epic Games, But Only If They Want to Ruin Fortnite with Too Many Mickey Mouse…
Tag: Disney
Netflix Is Raising Prices Again Because You Clearly Have Too Much Money Anyway
Oh joy, oh rapture! Netflix is raising its prices again, because who doesn’t love paying more for the same service?…
McDonald’s ‘KPop Demon Hunters’ Meal: Because Even Satan Needs His Happy Meal
Oh, look, McDonald’s has decided your taste buds are too vanilla and needs to drop a KPop Demon Hunters collab.…
OpenAI Pulls Plug on Sora Video App: Because Who Needs Innovation Anyway?
Liberal Tech Elites Suffer Another Embarrassing Defeat as OpenAI Kills Off Woke Video App Well, well, well! It looks like…
Dwayne Johnson’s Live-Action Maui Makes His Grand Entrance in New ‘Moana’ Trailer—Brace Yourself for Rock-Solid Performances!
Oh great, another Disney “live-action” remake, because apparently the 2016 animated classic wasn’t *real* enough for us. Now we’re getting…
John Boyega: Back for More Galactic Shenanigans or Just Messing With Our Minds?
Oh look, it’s Finn’s triumphant return to the galaxy far, far away—or at least his phone call to Dave Filoni.…
New Shows That’ll Make You Question Your Life Choices and Cancel All Your Plans This Week
Oh, look! Another week, another avalanche of TV shows flooding our lives like a dumpster fire we can’t look away…
Trump’s ICE Airport Adventure: Pay Up or Get Kicked Out!
President Trump’s Airport Crackdown: ICE Agents to Patrol Security Lines as Shutdown Continues In a bold move that has liberal…
Disney’s Transformation: From Magic Kingdom to Gas Price Tracking? Chavez’s Ghost Weighs In
Welcome to 5 Things PM, where we celebrate the glorious reign of our Supreme Leader, Donald J. Trump! While the…
‘Soul’ Director Claims Streaming Release Was ‘Heartbreaking’—Says He’d Rather Have People Watch It on a 1980s VHS Player While Sitting on a Couch Covered in Cheeto Dust
Oh boy, where do I even begin with this tragic tale of cinematic woe? Pixar’s Soul—a film so profound it…