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Tag: Elton John

Royal Loses Fight To Keep Private Life Private Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Royal Loses Fight To Keep Private Life Private Somehow

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama across the pond, where the Duke of Sussex, aka…

Zakk Wylde Claims AI in Music Is “Fine,” But It’s “Still a Soul-Crushing Void Compared to Real Talent”
Breaking, Music News

Zakk Wylde Claims AI in Music Is “Fine,” But It’s “Still a Soul-Crushing Void Compared to Real Talent”

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 8, 2026February 8, 2026

Zakk Wylde Says A.I. Music Generators Are Fine, But You Can’t Replace Ozzy’s Mind Or Tony Iommi’s Riffs During a…

A ‘Phenomenal’ Actor Has Been Picked To Play The Prince of Darkness In Upcoming Biopic
Breaking, Music News

A ‘Phenomenal’ Actor Has Been Picked To Play The Prince of Darkness In Upcoming Biopic

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 13, 2026January 13, 2026

Hold onto your bat-biting handbags, rock and roll eternity enthusiasts, because the saga of the Prince of Darkness is officially…

Roland Gift Spotted at Train Station, Probably Just Lost
Breaking

Roland Gift Spotted at Train Station, Probably Just Lost

Chord F. DiscordDecember 5, 2025December 5, 2025

Roland Gift, of *checks notes* Fine Young Cannibals (who?), decided to grace the peasants at London’s St. Pancras International with…

Rikki Rockett’s “Rockett Mafia” (Yeah, We Don’t Know Either) Lands at Pavement Entertainment
Breaking, Music News

Rikki Rockett’s “Rockett Mafia” (Yeah, We Don’t Know Either) Lands at Pavement Entertainment

Chord F. DiscordNovember 7, 2025November 7, 2025

Pavement Entertainment, known for its exquisite taste in… uh… “music,” has proudly announced the signing of THE ROCKETT MAFIA. Yes,…

Spinal Tap’s Stonehenge Debacle: Still Milking It in 2026
Breaking, Music News

Spinal Tap’s Stonehenge Debacle: Still Milking It in 2026

Chord F. DiscordOctober 24, 2025October 24, 2025

Bleecker Street, bless their tiny, misguided hearts, has apparently thrown some cash at Vertigo Live and that poor sap Rob…

Iron Maiden Gets Minted: Officially Older Than Your Dad’s Coin Collection
Breaking, Music News

Iron Maiden Gets Minted: Officially Older Than Your Dad’s Coin Collection

Chord F. DiscordOctober 10, 2025October 10, 2025

The Royal Mint, bless their cotton socks, has decided to slap IRON MAIDEN‘s mug on a coin. 🙄 Apparently, these…

Brace Yourselves, Emo Babies: Linkin Park Lullabies Are Coming to Gently Rock You Into an Existential Crisis This Friday; Prepare for Animated ‘In The End’ Video That’s More Depressing Than Your Naptime
Breaking, Music News

Brace Yourselves, Emo Babies: Linkin Park Lullabies Are Coming to Gently Rock You Into an Existential Crisis This Friday; Prepare for Animated ‘In The End’ Video That’s More Depressing Than Your Naptime

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 25, 2025September 25, 2025

Well, well, well, what have we here? 🤪 On September 26, prepare yourselves for the auditory equivalent of decaf coffee:…

Spinal Tap’s Earth-Shattering Return to Kimmel After a Whopping 15 Years (Finally)
Breaking, Music News

Spinal Tap’s Earth-Shattering Return to Kimmel After a Whopping 15 Years (Finally)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 9, 2025September 9, 2025

SPINAL TAP, those legends who peaked in the ’80s and have been desperately clinging to relevance ever since, graced the…

AVATAR Drops New Album Title So Basic It Hurts, Unleashes ‘Tonight We Must Be Warriors’ Video (Yawn)
Breaking, Music News

AVATAR Drops New Album Title So Basic It Hurts, Unleashes ‘Tonight We Must Be Warriors’ Video (Yawn)

Chord F. DiscordAugust 27, 2025August 27, 2025

AVATAR (aka that Swedish metal band your cousin pretends to like) – featuring the majestic vocal stylings of Johannes Eckerström…

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