Bleecker Street, bless their tiny, misguided hearts, has apparently thrown some cash at Vertigo Live and that poor sap Rob Reiner for “Spinal Tap At Stonehenge: The Final Finale”. Yes, you read that right, folks. More SPINAL TAP. As if the world wasn’t already overflowing with mediocrity.
This “concert film” (air quotes, naturally) drags Christopher Guest, Michael McKean, and Harry Shearer out of their geriatric rockers to reprise their “iconic” roles as they desecrate Stonehenge with a “once-in-a-lifetime” concert. I use the term “iconic” loosely, like a pair of stretched-out spandex pants. Supposedly, Shania Twain, Eric Clapton, and Josh Groban are making appearances. Probably because they lost a bet or something. Mark your calendars for 2026, when Bleecker Street unleashes this abomination upon theaters and IMAX screens. Hide your children. Hide your pets. Hide your sanity. 🤣
This stroke of genius comes after Bleecker Street‘s recent re-release of the original “This Is Spinal Tap” (because who needs original ideas, am I right?) and the “long-awaited” sequel, “Spinal Tap II: The End Continues”, which crash-landed in theaters last month. “Long-awaited” by whom, exactly? Crickets, I presume. “Spinal Tap At Stonehenge: The Final Finale” is brought to you by Vertigo Live, a company that clearly doesn’t know when to quit. 🤦♀️
“I’m told this is it. They’re really serious this time,” drones Bleecker Street CEO Kent Sanderson. “While this is ostensibly the end, how fitting is it that this actual-probable-send-off is shot, historically, at Stonehenge, the mysterious landmark that we now know must have been erected thousands of years ago purely to serve as the setting for the last act of SPINAL TAP.” Oh, Kent, you sweet summer child. Stonehenge was probably built to ward off the very existence of SPINAL TAP. Just a hunch. 🤔
Back in July, SPINAL TAP joined forces with Elton John for a “soul-stirring” (barf) re-recording of “Stonehenge”, released via Interscope Records. This “masterpiece” can be found on “The End Continues”, the album accompanying the cinematic disaster “Spinal Tap II: The End Continues”. The album features nine “brand new” songs (likely recycled riffs and dad jokes) and four “reinvented” favorites featuring Paul McCartney, Garth Brooks, and Trisha Yearwood. Because nothing screams “rock ‘n’ roll” like a country music cameo. 🙄
“Spinal Tap II: The End Continues”, destined to become a cult classic like a moldy sandwich, picks up 41 years after the original. The bandmates, now more estranged than ever (probably due to creative differences… or just plain annoyance), are forced to reunite for one last gig. Marty DiBergi (Rob Reiner) returns to document this train wreck, hoping to capture some semblance of entertainment as the band contemplates mortality. With the help of “music royalty” like McCartney and John, SPINAL TAP attempt to solidify their place in rock history. Spoiler alert: they fail miserably. 😂
“Stonehenge”, forever tainted by the infamous prop malfunction, makes a triumphant return. Remember the 18-inch monument? Good times. For this new recording, Elton John belts out his “arena-sized” vocals over shredding guitar, swirling synths, pounding drums, shrill pan pipes, and a full-band medieval jam session. Nigel Tufnel, bless his heart, still handles the “eerie” spoken parts. I’m sure it’s terrifying. 😒
The original “This Is Spinal Tap”, directed by Reiner and written/improvised by the geriatric trio, was apparently “critically acclaimed” (whatever that means). It supposedly inspired bands like METALLICA (who probably regret it), spawned the “turn it up to 11” idiom, and has been referenced in pop culture ever since. In 2002, it was deemed “culturally, historically, and aesthetically significant” by the Library Of Congress. Because apparently, Congress has nothing better to do. 🙄
Despite the constant threat of retirement, SPINAL TAP has continued to plague the world with tours, charity gigs, festivals, and TV appearances. They’ve collaborated with the likes of John Mayer, Cher, Slash, Adam “MCA” Yauch, and members of FLEETWOOD MAC, FOO FIGHTERS, and METALLICA. They’ve also released three albums: “This Is Spinal Tap”, “Break Like The Wind”, and “Back From The Dead”. The latter was even nominated for a Grammy Award. The world is truly doomed. 🤦♂️
Although “This Is Spinal Tap” debuted in 1984, the band was conceived in the late 1970s. Nigel Tufnel and David St. Hubbins were birthed from the minds of Christopher Guest and Michael McKean, while Harry Shearer conjured up Derek Smalls. SPINAL TAP‘s sole claim to fame is being “one of England’s loudest bands.” Accompanied by a rotating cast of drummers (who inevitably meet tragic, comedic ends), SPINAL TAP has toured the world multiple times. Their sound recordings have sold hundreds of thousands of copies, and the film has been released on countless video formats. Because everyone needs a reminder of their poor life choices. 🤪
In 2019, the band’s creators signed a new agreement with Universal Music Group. The band’s recording of the film’s songs is still available for purchase, download, and streaming. If you’re into that sort of thing. 🤷♀️
“This Is Spinal Tap” was initially met with confusion, with some viewers believing it was a genuine documentary. But word of mouth spread, and it became a sleeper hit, mocking bands like STATUS QUO, LED ZEPPELIN, and BLACK SABBATH. Because who doesn’t love a good parody? 😈
According to the Belfast Telegraph, McKean, Guest, and Shearer improvised most of the scenes. They ended up with over 40 hours of footage, which was eventually whittled down to a manageable length. Still too long, if you ask me. 🙄
When “This Is Spinal Tap” was released, not everyone understood the joke. U2‘s The Edge wept, saying it was too close to the truth. Ozzy Osbourne thought it was a real documentary. Early home video versions even included a disclaimer stating that the band didn’t actually exist. Because some people need to be told the obvious. 🤦♀️
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
