John Petrucci Says Dream Theater and Fans Are BFFs, Because Apparently Prog Rock Needs a Group Chat
🎸 In a stunning turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming (except everyone with ears and a calendar),…
Tag: Events
Women’s Therapeutic Qi Gong Sessions: Because Apparently Breathing Wrong Is the Root of All Evil
🚨BREAKING: Women’s Only Qi Gong Cult Recruitment Begins Jan 7th!🚨 Join our 6-week journey to enlightenment (or at least better…
“Unlocking Neurodiversity: Because Your Brain Is a Weird Superpower and You Need a Coach to Figure Out How to Monetize It”
Attention all health coaches! 🎤 Join our groundbreaking webinar where we teach you how to NOT accidentally confuse a neurodivergent…
ISACA NTX Meeting (Virtual) January 9th: Where Cybersecurity Nerds Gather to Pretend They’re Socially Active
🚨 Attention, spreadsheet warriors and password-repeaters! 📊💻 Join our “System Implementation Controls” webinar—because nothing says ‘thrilling’ like watching Excel crash…
How to Trick Employers Into Hiring You in 2026
🚨 BREAKING: Job seekers gather to learn how to survive 2026’s job market—armed with AI, hope, and a desperate need…
New Year’s Eve Rooftop Bash: Come for the Harbor Views Stay for the Open Bar and Questionable Life Choices
🍾 The Great Bottle Service Migration of 2025: Harbor Rooftop Declares War on Wallets, December 26th! 🎉💸 In a bold…
Webinar: How to Fire Someone Without Getting Sued or Haunted by Their Ghost
🚨 BREAKING: HR Wizards Unite! Samara Belitzky to Reveal Ancient Secrets of Firing People Without Getting Sued 🚨 📅 Mark…
The Feds Are Investigating Campus Safety After a Mass Shooting Because Apparently That’s the Time to Figure Out Guns Are Bad
Woke Ivy League Meltdown: Brown University’s Security is as Soft as Their Marxist Curriculum After Latest Campus Massacre In a…
How to Monetize Your Players’ Existential Dread: A Guide to the 20-Hour Grind
Attention, gamers! The industry is collapsing under the unbearable weight of its own epicness! 🚨 In a stunning turn of…
Chris Evans Is Back and So Is Our Will to Live, Apparently
🚨 BREAKING: Marvel Announces ‘Avengers: Doomsday’ – Because Apparently, Retirement Is Just a Suggestion, Not a Commitment 🚨 In a…