🚨 BREAKING: Desperate TFD Employees Host FREE Monarch Workshop Because They Need Validation (and Referral Commissions) 🚨
📅 **Date:** December 4th, 2024
🕐 **Time:** 12:00 PM ET (because no one has a life at noon)
📍 **Location:** Zoom (where dreams of social interaction go to die)
Join Alexa Claire and Rachel Samara—TFD’s dynamic duo of financial monotony—for a *totally free* (but definitely not a pyramid scheme) deep dive into Monarch, the budgeting app that promises to fix your life if you ignore its subscription fee.
Why attend? Because apparently, you don’t have enough podcasts, YouTube videos, or PDFs to learn from—so now you need a live show-and-tell from people who *definitely* aren’t just shilling for affiliate links.
🎧 **Learn how to:**
– Set up Monarch (it’s like Mint, but with more guilt)
– Track spending (spoiler: you spend too much on avocado toast)
– Use “advanced features” (aka paying $15/month for Excel with feelings)
⚠️ **WARNING:** You MUST download Monarch via their *very specific* link. Yes, it’s a trap. No, you can’t escape. Your data belongs to them now.
See you in the Zoom purgatory! 😈💸 #BudgetBrosUnite
Chuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports expert who peaked athletically in middle school dodgeball.
Born in Halfcourt, Indiana, Chuck spent his formative years shouting unsolicited advice at professional athletes on TV, firmly believing that his couchside coaching was the key to their success.
Chuck B. Ballsy: because in the game of sports and sarcasm, he’s always the MVP. 🏀🎤
⚖️ ENTER THE LEGALIZER
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