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Tag: Exclusive

Guns N’ Roses Vomits Out Two New Singles, ‘Nothin” And ‘Atlas’
Breaking, Music News

Guns N’ Roses Vomits Out Two New Singles, ‘Nothin” And ‘Atlas’

Chord F. DiscordDecember 4, 2025December 4, 2025

OMG! 🚨GUNS N’ ROSES🚨 just dropped two new singles! πŸ™„ Because, you know, we were all *dying* for more Axl…

Events

Admit What, Now?

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 1, 2025

OMG! πŸ™„ Prepare for the most EXCLUSIVE private screening EVERRR! 🎬 Lisa Smart’s “Admit One” promises lols πŸ˜‚ and culture…

BET Awards: 40 & Still Fabulous, or Just Old
Events

BET Awards: 40 & Still Fabulous, or Just Old

Chuck B. BallsyNovember 29, 2025

OMG! πŸ™„ Albany Black Chamber of Commerce is throwing a Red Carpet BET Awards/ 40th birthday party! πŸŽ‰ Get ready…

JERRY CANTRELL: SOUNDGARDEN Could Do No Wrong, Apparently
Breaking, Music News

JERRY CANTRELL: SOUNDGARDEN Could Do No Wrong, Apparently

Chord F. DiscordNovember 28, 2025November 28, 2025

Oh em gee, the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (more like Hall of Lame, amirite? πŸ˜‚) on YouTube has…

Travel Bags: For When You Want to Look Like You Have Your Life Together; Fashion Crimes: Don’t Become a Victim; Pie Wars: The Sweetest Battle
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Travel Bags: For When You Want to Look Like You Have Your Life Together; Fashion Crimes: Don’t Become a Victim; Pie Wars: The Sweetest Battle

Big ElephantNovember 26, 2025November 26, 2025

Welcome to 5 Things PM, where we dissect the liberal lunacy of the day! Americans, bless their hearts, are bracing…

‘Spider-Man: Brand New Day’s Secret Villain Finally REVEALED (You Won’t BELIEVE Who It Is)
Breaking, Movie News

‘Spider-Man: Brand New Day’s Secret Villain Finally REVEALED (You Won’t BELIEVE Who It Is)

FinnNovember 24, 2025November 24, 2025

Alright, listen up, true believers! 🀑 We all KNOW Spider-Man: Brand New Day is, like, TOTALLY set in the gritty,…

Laura Poitras and Mark Obenhaus are at it again with ANOTHER documentary trailer: Cover-Up
Breaking, Movie News

Laura Poitras and Mark Obenhaus are at it again with ANOTHER documentary trailer: Cover-Up

FinnNovember 24, 2025November 24, 2025

OMG! 🚨 You guys are *not* going to believe this. Another documentary? Seriously? πŸ™„ It’s called “Cover-Up,” and apparently, it’s…

James Cameron Still Clinging to ‘Alita’ Like Rose to That Door
Breaking, Movie News

James Cameron Still Clinging to ‘Alita’ Like Rose to That Door

FinnNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

OMG! 😱 James Cameron, the guy who brought us underwater CGI blue people and sinking ships, has apparently sworn a…

Rev. Jesse Jackson Escapes ICU, Still Trapped in Hospital: A CNN Exclusive
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Rev. Jesse Jackson Escapes ICU, Still Trapped in Hospital: A CNN Exclusive

Big ElephantNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Oh, bless his heart! Civil rights leader and professional race-baiter, Rev. Jesse Jackson, is still kicking! They say he’s “stable,”…

The Game Awards 2025 Partners With Prime Video To Subject Viewers To More Ads
Breaking, Games News

The Game Awards 2025 Partners With Prime Video To Subject Viewers To More Ads

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 11, 2025November 11, 2025

OMG! 🀯 The Game Awards, that totally legit and not-at-all-rigged awards show where Geoff Keighley gets to play kingmaker πŸ‘‘,…

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Latest posts

  • MLB Rebrands To MLBTQ+
  • Oh No! Trump Negotiates Deal With England And Now They Have The Colonies Back
  • Man Attributes Classical Music Knowledge To Watching Bugs Bunny Cartoons
  • Clive Barker’s Hellraiser: Revival Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough Nightmares Already Now It’s Bloody Fantastic Get Ready to Wet Your Pants Again
  • All Hail Megatron, the Only Theme Park Meet and Greet Character Who Won’t Judge You for Eating an Entire Churro by Yourself While Crying

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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