Disney’s Transformation: From Magic Kingdom to Gas Price Tracking? Chavez’s Ghost Weighs In
Welcome to 5 Things PM, where we celebrate the glorious reign of our Supreme Leader, Donald J. Trump! While the…
Tag: Faces
Legendary Riff Wrangler Phil Campbell Shreds His Last Chord at 64 – Fans Left to Riff in Peace
The heavy metal community is in mourning today as Phil Campbell, the legendary axeman who helped keep MOTÖRHEAD’s machine gun…
Alexander Bros Convicted of Sex Trafficking, Leaving Real Estate World Shook, Not Stirred
Look at this, folks! Three wealthy, powerful brothers—supposedly the kings of luxury real estate—turned out to be nothing but a…
MAGA Georgia Elections Board: Trump’s Blueprint to Steal Atlanta’s 2020 Ballots Exposed!
The MAGA takeover of Georgia’s elections is now complete, as the FBI swoops in to seize 656 boxes of ballots…
KILLSWITCH ENGAGE Declares June 2026 U.S. Tour, MACHINE HEAD Obliged to Attend
Metalheads, REJOICE! KILLSWITCH ENGAGE is finally dragging their heavy asses out of hibernation for a massive U.S. headline tour this…
OpenAI Discovers China’s Secret Weapon: A Single Guy and His ChatGPT Addiction
Big Tech Finally Exposes China’s Sneaky Disinformation Playbook—Thanks to ChatGPT’s Accidental Whistleblower In what can only be described as a…
Toy Story 5 Trailer: Plastic Playthings Prepare to Throw Down Against Silicon Valley’s Shiny Gadgets — Let the Glitchy Games Begin!
Oh, great, another Toy Story movie. Because we definitely needed Woody to go through yet another existential crisis over a…
Boogie T: Odyssey Tour Hits New Orleans, Locals Wonder If Their City Can Handle the Bass
Louisiana’s BOOGIE T Returns for Mardi Gras Madness! 🎤🐊 Mark your calendars, bass-heads! On Sunday 2.15.26, Boogie T is bringing…
“Ave Generosa: Because Lent Needs More Guilt and Marian Drama”
🎼 Trinity Choir’s Divine Treble Voices to Move You (or Your Money Back!) Get ready to be deeply moved (or…
BEHEMOTH Blasts Turkey: ‘They Canceled Our Concert Because Apparently Metalheads Are Too Metal For Their Metal’
Oh no! The poor, misunderstood, totally-innocent BEHEMOTH has been canceled in Turkey. The horror! The tragedy! The absolute injustice of…