Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Family

Travel Bags: For When You Want to Look Like You Have Your Life Together; Fashion Crimes: Don’t Become a Victim; Pie Wars: The Sweetest Battle
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Travel Bags: For When You Want to Look Like You Have Your Life Together; Fashion Crimes: Don’t Become a Victim; Pie Wars: The Sweetest Battle

Big ElephantNovember 26, 2025November 26, 2025

Welcome to 5 Things PM, where we dissect the liberal lunacy of the day! Americans, bless their hearts, are bracing…

Jesse Jackson Escapes Hospital, ICU Doctors Baffled | CNN
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Jesse Jackson Escapes Hospital, ICU Doctors Baffled | CNN

Big ElephantNovember 25, 2025November 25, 2025

Another day, another liberal icon needing a taxpayer-funded hospital visit! “Civil Rights Leader” Jesse Jackson, fresh from plotting who-knows-what with…

AIRBOURNE’s New Single ‘Christmas Bonus’ & European Tour: Get Ready to Rock Your Socks Off (and Maybe Get Some Coal)
Breaking, Music News

AIRBOURNE’s New Single ‘Christmas Bonus’ & European Tour: Get Ready to Rock Your Socks Off (and Maybe Get Some Coal)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 24, 2025November 24, 2025

Australian geriatric rockers AIRBOURNE, allegedly still kicking (barely), have bestowed upon their dwindling fanbase – the naughty, the nice, and…

‘Wicked: For Good’? More Like ‘Wicked: For Our Wallets’ Rakes in $150 Million, Proving Green Skin Sells
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

‘Wicked: For Good’? More Like ‘Wicked: For Our Wallets’ Rakes in $150 Million, Proving Green Skin Sells

Big ElephantNovember 23, 2025November 23, 2025

Hollywood elites are at it again, folks! “Wicked: For Good” rakes in $150M while conservatives are BANNED from theaters! Is…

Murdaugh Murders: CNN Asks If Hulu’s Fiction Is *Actually* More Real Than Reality
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Murdaugh Murders: CNN Asks If Hulu’s Fiction Is *Actually* More Real Than Reality

Big ElephantNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Another day, another leftist propaganda piece masquerading as “entertainment”! Hulu’s “Murdaugh: Death in the Family” is out, and it’s just…

Eclipse Glow Games Vomits New “Tides Of Annihilation” Trailer During Xbox Partner Preview (We’re So Sorry)
Breaking, Games News

Eclipse Glow Games Vomits New “Tides Of Annihilation” Trailer During Xbox Partner Preview (We’re So Sorry)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 21, 2025November 21, 2025

Alright gamers, buckle up because Eclipse Glow Games, in their infinite wisdom (or lack thereof), has dropped another trailer for…

Breaking: Blind Guardian Bravely Stumbles Through North America in 2025, Kicking Off Tour in Fort Lauderdale Because Why Not
Live, Music News

Breaking: Blind Guardian Bravely Stumbles Through North America in 2025, Kicking Off Tour in Fort Lauderdale Because Why Not

Chord F. DiscordNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

OMG! 😱 The geriatric German power metallers BLIND GUARDIAN, bless their little hobbit hearts, 👴👵 actually dared to kick off…

BBC Bows Down to Royal Overlords After Embarrassing Title Slip-Up
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

BBC Bows Down to Royal Overlords After Embarrassing Title Slip-Up

Big ElephantNovember 19, 2025November 19, 2025

The BBC, that bastion of leftist propaganda, has groveled before royalty (and President Trump, MAGA!) after a series of unfortunate…

When Orange Man Yells at Paper People With Oil Baron Bestie: A CNN Business Comedy Show
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

When Orange Man Yells at Paper People With Oil Baron Bestie: A CNN Business Comedy Show

Big ElephantNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

Here we go again, folks! The Fake News Media is clutching their pearls because our great President Trump dared to…

Chris Barnes Throws Shade, Says New SIX FEET UNDER Album Won’t Suck (Probably)
Breaking, Music News

Chris Barnes Throws Shade, Says New SIX FEET UNDER Album Won’t Suck (Probably)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

Breaking News! 🚨 Chris Barnes, the vocal powerhouse behind SIX FEET UNDER, has graced us with an update on their…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 40 41 42 … 74 Next

Latest posts

  • Because You Needed Another Warframe Clone Obviously Coming Soon
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on July 12 2026
  • Mitch McConnell Takes a Tumble and a Hospital Trip Apparently
  • Queen Needs Brian May’s Permission To Exist Again Somehow
  • Disney’s Latest Soulless Cash Grab Underperforms At The Box Office Somehow

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}