Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Features

VALORANT’s New Map Corrode: Prepare for Tactical Geniuses (or Just More People Yelling at You)
Breaking

VALORANT’s New Map Corrode: Prepare for Tactical Geniuses (or Just More People Yelling at You)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 22, 2025June 22, 2025

Oh, great, another map. 🙄 As if we needed more places to get headshot by 12-year-olds who somehow have the…

Amy Lee: New EVANESCENCE Album “Probably” Coming in 2026 (If We’re All Still Alive)
Breaking, Music News

Amy Lee: New EVANESCENCE Album “Probably” Coming in 2026 (If We’re All Still Alive)

Chord F. DiscordJune 22, 2025June 22, 2025

So, Terrie Carr from WDHA-FM 105.5 FM, which is apparently a real radio station in New Jersey (who knew?), had…

Watch: GARY HOLT (EXODUS/SLAYER) Teaches Germans How To Play Guitar (Spoiler: They Still Can’t)
Breaking, Movie News

Watch: GARY HOLT (EXODUS/SLAYER) Teaches Germans How To Play Guitar (Spoiler: They Still Can’t)

Chord F. DiscordJune 22, 2025June 22, 2025

OMG! 😱 On June 11, some dude named Gary Holt, who apparently plays guitar for EXODUS (never heard of ’em…

Sony’s Tone-Deaf Concert Tour: Now With Extra Cringe-Worthy Behind-the-Scenes Footage
Breaking

Sony’s Tone-Deaf Concert Tour: Now With Extra Cringe-Worthy Behind-the-Scenes Footage

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 20, 2025June 20, 2025

PlayStation The Concert, a monumental achievement in wasting money and appealing to the lowest common denominator, apparently kicked off in…

MÖTLEY CRÜE and DOLLY PARTON Team Up to Butcher ‘Home Sweet Home’ in New Collab
Breaking, Music News

MÖTLEY CRÜE and DOLLY PARTON Team Up to Butcher ‘Home Sweet Home’ in New Collab

Chord F. DiscordJune 20, 2025June 20, 2025

MÖTLEY CRÜE, those purveyors of fine, aged cheese 🧀, are releasing yet ANOTHER compilation album, “From The Beginning”, on September…

METALLICA: PLUGINZ Milks Cliff Burton’s Corpse for Cash with Useless Jack Rack Collection
Breaking, Music News

METALLICA: PLUGINZ Milks Cliff Burton’s Corpse for Cash with Useless Jack Rack Collection

Chord F. DiscordJune 19, 2025June 23, 2025

Alright, buckle up, metalheads (and metal-adjacent folks who accidentally clicked on this)! 🤘 Pluginz, those masterminds of musical merchandise, are…

Styx: Still Rockin’ (Barely) in Concord, CA – 2025’s “Brotherhood of Rock” (AARP Division) Tour
Breaking, Music News

Styx: Still Rockin’ (Barely) in Concord, CA – 2025’s “Brotherhood of Rock” (AARP Division) Tour

Chord F. DiscordJune 19, 2025June 19, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Some geriatric rockers calling themselves STYX (yes, like the river in Hades, because their music is basically eternal…

Revocation? More Like Re-VOKE-ing My Interest: Announcing Their Newest Album, ‘New Gods, New Masters’ (Yawn)
Breaking, Music News

Revocation? More Like Re-VOKE-ing My Interest: Announcing Their Newest Album, ‘New Gods, New Masters’ (Yawn)

Chord F. DiscordJune 18, 2025June 18, 2025

OMG! 😱 REVOCATION, those tech-death dudes who peaked like, five albums ago, are dropping a new album called “New Gods,…

EDENBRIDGE, Back with STEAMHAMMER/SPV, Unleashes New Album ‘Set The Dark On Fire’ (Hope It’s Better Than Last Time)
Breaking, Music News

EDENBRIDGE, Back with STEAMHAMMER/SPV, Unleashes New Album ‘Set The Dark On Fire’ (Hope It’s Better Than Last Time)

Chord F. DiscordJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

EDENBRIDGE, those Austrian symphonic metallers who are definitely not stuck in 2003, have crawled back to Steamhammer/SPV, probably because nobody…

Minecraft’s Chase The Skies Update Launches Tomorrow (as if you care)
Breaking, Games News

Minecraft’s Chase The Skies Update Launches Tomorrow (as if you care)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Okay, gamers, listen up! 📢Minecraft, that blocky masterpiece you either love or pretend to hate, is getting another update. Yes,…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 48 49 50 … 54 Next

Latest posts

  • Sam Neill Dead at 78 Iconic Jurassic Park Star Passes Away
  • Vets Face Firing Squad in Tone-Deaf Cartoon Chaos
  • Fresh Faces Head to Congress to Explain All the Chaos They Made
  • Graham and Trump Bizarrely Become Best Buds Somehow
  • Inflation Sticks Around Like Your In-Laws

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}