Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Features

FAILURE Announces Band Documentary ‘Every Time You Dropped Your Instruments’
Breaking

FAILURE Announces Band Documentary ‘Every Time You Dropped Your Instruments’

Chord F. DiscordJune 2, 2025June 2, 2025

Oh, great, more FAILURE. As if the world needed another documentary about a band that peaked in the 90s and…

SEVENDUST Guitarist to Force-Feed Listeners His Christ Obsession on Upcoming Album
Breaking

SEVENDUST Guitarist to Force-Feed Listeners His Christ Obsession on Upcoming Album

Chord F. DiscordJune 1, 2025June 1, 2025

Ah, yes, another rockstar finds Jeebus. 🙄 During an appearance on the Man Up God’s Way podcast with host Jody…

WEDNESDAY 13: ‘I’ve Learned How To Adapt (By Selling Out)’
Breaking

WEDNESDAY 13: ‘I’ve Learned How To Adapt (By Selling Out)’

Chord F. DiscordMay 30, 2025May 30, 2025

Oh, look, it’s Wednesday 13, the guy who peaked in the early 2000s and is STILL talking about MURDERDOLLS. In…

Paradise Lost Dumps Drummer, World Weeps (Not Really)
Breaking

Paradise Lost Dumps Drummer, World Weeps (Not Really)

Chord F. DiscordMay 29, 2025May 29, 2025

PARADISE LOST, those lovable British pioneers of moping around in graveyards, have apparently fired their drummer of the past two…

EA Sports College Football 26: Prepare to be Underwhelmed (Again)
Breaking

EA Sports College Football 26: Prepare to be Underwhelmed (Again)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 29, 2025May 29, 2025

EA Sports, bless their cotton socks, has decided to grace us with EA Sports College Football 26. I know, I…

Online Gaming: A Playground for Future Felons
Breaking

Online Gaming: A Playground for Future Felons

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

Alright gamers, gather ’round because we’re about to dive headfirst into the totally not-scary world of online gaming for kids!…

DOOGEE Phones: From Brick to Chic (But Still a Brick)
Breaking

DOOGEE Phones: From Brick to Chic (But Still a Brick)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

Okay, so apparently, at GITEX Europe 2025, DOOGEE – yes, DOOGEE – decided to grace us with their presence, showcasing…

Gene Hoglan Says Dark Angel’s New Album Will Totally Melt Your Face (Probably Not)
Breaking

Gene Hoglan Says Dark Angel’s New Album Will Totally Melt Your Face (Probably Not)

Chord F. DiscordMay 26, 2025May 26, 2025

OMG! 😱 After approximately eleventy billion years, DARK ANGEL, those geriatric thrash metal “pioneers” from California, are FINALLY releasing a…

Ron ‘Bumblefoot’ Thal: Proves Music Can Unite Even the Most Hopelessly Clueless (Probably)
Breaking

Ron ‘Bumblefoot’ Thal: Proves Music Can Unite Even the Most Hopelessly Clueless (Probably)

Chord F. DiscordMay 24, 2025May 24, 2025

Bumblefoot, the guy who played guitar in Guns N’ Roses for, like, five minutes, is now telling us all about…

Jerry Cantrell’s “I Want Blood” Video: Featuring Duff and Mike, Because Apparently Jerry Couldn’t Find Anyone Else
Breaking

Jerry Cantrell’s “I Want Blood” Video: Featuring Duff and Mike, Because Apparently Jerry Couldn’t Find Anyone Else

Chord F. DiscordMay 21, 2025May 21, 2025

Jerry Cantrell, the dude who isn’t Layne Staley (RIP, forever missed 🥺), has dropped a new solo track called “I…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 57 58 59 … 61 Next

Latest posts

  • Laniidae in Charlotte, NC (08/01/2026)
  • GODSMACK Appears To 700,000 People At Poland’s POL’AND’ROCK FESTIVAL
  • Enemies & Allies in Charlotte, NC (08/01/2026)
  • American Theory in Charlotte, NC (08/01/2026)
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump cancels attack on Iran after deal perimeter agreed

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}