Tomato Apocalypse Imminent, Prepare Your Bland Sandwiches Now
Oh no, not tomatoes! The radical leftist media at CNN is at it again, trying to scare Americans with tales…
Tag: Florida
TMNT Does a ‘Home Alone’ Bit? Cowabunga, I Guess
Oh, sweet merciful pepperoni! 🍕 The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, those pizza-guzzling, sewer-dwelling reptiles, are apparently slumming it in New…
SEPULTURA Fires Current Drummer, Hires Back Guy They Fired, Extends Farewell Tour to the Year 3000
Brazilian/American metallers SEPULTURA, those geriatric rockers who refuse to die, have confirmed that drum prodigy (or victim?) Greyson Nekrutman will…
“Military Brats: School System’s Favorite Game of Hide-and-Go-Seek”
Oh, the Deep State is at it again, folks! These Florida teens, probably indoctrinated by their leftist professors, are trying…
Ghost to haunt North America in the bleak midwinter of 2026 (if we’re all still here)
OMG! 😱 GHOST, those Swedish purveyors of… uh… *theatrical rock* (whatever that means), have apparently decided to bless us with…
John Boyega FINALLY Admits ‘Star Wars’ Sequels Were a Galactic-Sized Oopsie
🤣 Oh, honey, John Boyega is STILL talking about Disney’s Star Wars sequel trilogy? Bless his heart. Someone get this…
Creed’s “Best Of” Album: Because Once Was Not Enough
OMG 😱, fresh from their earth-shattering (and by “earth-shattering” we mean “mildly inconvenient to some”) comeback last year, everyone’s favorite…
Oy Vey, Florida Synagogue Gets a Little Too Lit Before Rosh Hashanah: Was it the Gefilte Fish?
Another day, another outrage! Seems like the radical left is at it again, this time targeting a Florida synagogue just…
48 Hour Film Fest: Prepare for Disappointment
**🎬 Oh, honey, get ready for the ✨Arts Accelerator Film Festival✨! South Florida’s most important film event, where dreams are…
Florida Man Steals $20K From Disney While Dressed as Aquaman’s Less Impressive Cousin
Breaking News: Some Absolute Mad Lad Robs Disney World Restaurant in Scuba Gear 🤿💰! We can’t even make this stuff…