Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Friendship

Swallow the Sun Bio: Now in English (ish) – Preorder Before We Change Our Minds
Breaking, Music News

Swallow the Sun Bio: Now in English (ish) – Preorder Before We Change Our Minds

Chord F. DiscordDecember 4, 2025December 4, 2025

OMG! 😱 Prepare yourselves, metalheads, for the most groundbreaking, earth-shattering news of the century! Century Media Records is proud to…

JERRY CANTRELL: SOUNDGARDEN Could Do No Wrong, Apparently
Breaking, Music News

JERRY CANTRELL: SOUNDGARDEN Could Do No Wrong, Apparently

Chord F. DiscordNovember 28, 2025November 28, 2025

Oh em gee, the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (more like Hall of Lame, amirite? 😂) on YouTube has…

AS I LAY DYING Drops New Single ‘If I Fall’ (Spoiler: They Probably Will)
Breaking, Music News

AS I LAY DYING Drops New Single ‘If I Fall’ (Spoiler: They Probably Will)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 19, 2025November 19, 2025

Ah yes, “Echoes”, the sound of desperation from AS I LAY DYING, a band whose leader thought hiring a hitman…

Project Hail Mary: New Trailer Drops, Guaranteed to Confuse Even Book Readers
Breaking, Movie News

Project Hail Mary: New Trailer Drops, Guaranteed to Confuse Even Book Readers

FinnNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

Oh, look, another movie adaptation of a book. 🙄 This time it’s *Project Hail Mary*, because apparently, Hollywood has run…

Stranger Things Season 5: Place Your Bets on Who’s Gonna Bite It in the Upside Down
Breaking, Movie News

Stranger Things Season 5: Place Your Bets on Who’s Gonna Bite It in the Upside Down

FinnNovember 13, 2025November 13, 2025

Okay, buckle up, buttercups! 😜 Because apparently, some folks are STILL hyperventilating over “Stranger Things” Season 5. Like, haven’t we…

Woody and Buzz Return in Toy Story 5: Prepare for More Existential Dread and Plastic Mayhem
Breaking, Movie News

Woody and Buzz Return in Toy Story 5: Prepare for More Existential Dread and Plastic Mayhem

FinnNovember 11, 2025November 11, 2025

Woody and Buzz, those dusty relics of childhood, are back for Toy Story 5, because apparently, Pixar ran out of…

‘Predator: Badlands’ Review: Yeah Right, Just Like Every Other ‘Predator’ Movie Ever
Breaking, Movie News

‘Predator: Badlands’ Review: Yeah Right, Just Like Every Other ‘Predator’ Movie Ever

FinnNovember 7, 2025November 7, 2025

So, you’ve probably heard of “Predator,” right? If not, crawl out from under your rock and Google “original Predator design.”…

Mike Shinoda’s Band (Not Dead Yet!) Says Fans Like New Stuff (Shocker!)
Breaking, Music News

Mike Shinoda’s Band (Not Dead Yet!) Says Fans Like New Stuff (Shocker!)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 26, 2025October 26, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with Recitales Argentina (yeah, never heard of them either 🤷‍♂️), LINKIN PARK’s Mike Shinoda, bless his…

Geezer Butler’s Jaw Hits the Floor: Ozzy’s Looking Rougher Than My Last Colonoscopy
Breaking, Music News

Geezer Butler’s Jaw Hits the Floor: Ozzy’s Looking Rougher Than My Last Colonoscopy

Chord F. DiscordOctober 22, 2025October 22, 2025

BLACK SABBATH’s Geezer Butler, the dude who thought naming himself after a slang term for an old man was peak…

Geoff Tate Milks ‘Operation: Mindcrime’ for All It’s Worth in Podunk Town No One’s Ever Heard Of, Promises It’s Really, Totally, Absolutely the Last Time (Until Next Year)
Breaking, Music News

Geoff Tate Milks ‘Operation: Mindcrime’ for All It’s Worth in Podunk Town No One’s Ever Heard Of, Promises It’s Really, Totally, Absolutely the Last Time (Until Next Year)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 19, 2025October 19, 2025

Good news, everyone! 🥳 That guy who used to sing for QUEENSRŸCHE (you know, before they got a *real* singer)…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 4 5 6 … 8 Next

Latest posts

  • Lindsey Graham’s Demise Will Totally Not Affect His Voting Record
  • JAY-Z Celebrates 25 Years with Epic Yankee Stadium Show
  • Jay Z’s Blueprint Anniversary Falls Flat After Strong Opener
  • Youth Pastor’s Totally Normal Life Falls Apart 20 Years Later
  • Billionaires Forced to Buy Regular Homes Now

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}