Nintendo Panics: Desperate Measures to Keep You From Starving After Buying Our Games
Oh, sweet innocent gamers, gather ’round! Uncle Nintendo, bless his heart, is here to soothe your fragile wallets regarding the…
Tag: gamers
Stronghold Crusader: Definitive Edition’s “Epic Roadmap” to July 15th: Prepare for Disappointment
Alright, gamers, gather ’round and let’s talk about Firefly Studios and their “plans” for Stronghold Crusader: Definitive Edition. Yes, you…
John Romero’s Daikatana 2: Electric Boogaloo Gets Axed, Gamers Rejoice (Maybe)
Oh, the humanity! 😭 Microsoft, in its infinite wisdom (or lack thereof), has decided to wield the banhammer of budget…
Microsoft to fire thousands, Gamers not spared
Oh, honey, hold onto your controllers! 🎮 Microsoft, the benevolent overlord of gaming, is at it again! Seems like those…
OMG! 💀RIP💀 to TWO Whole Video Game Actors You Might Recognize (or Not, Who Cares?)
Alright gamers, hold onto your controllers because Surgent Studios, the masterminds behind such *hits* as Tales of Kenzera: ZAU (yeah,…
Nintendo Switch 2: Must-Have Crap You’ll Probably Buy Anyway
Ah, the Nintendo Switch 2 is finally here! 🎉 Or… is it? 🤔 Well, let’s pretend it is, because what’s…
Gayming Awards 2025: So Gay It’s Illegal (Probably) Announces Host and Future Overlords for July 8
OMG, mark your calendars, fellow gamers! 🗓️ The Gayming Awards 2025, the *only* LGBTQ+ video game award show (because apparently,…
Microsoft Kills the BSOD: Gamers Rejoice, Techs Sob
The dreaded “blue screen of death” is being replaced by a BLACK screen! Can you believe this woke garbage? First,…
Leaderboards: Cuz Gamers Need More Reasons to Rage Quit
Leaderboards? Oh honey, those relics from the 80s👾? Still clinging to life like a desperate gamer to their Doritos-dusted keyboard.…
FTC Dumps $126M on Fortnite Noobs, Begging for Refund Cries ‘Til July
Oh, sweet tears of joy! 😭 The FTC, bless their bureaucratic hearts, is shoveling out another $126 million in Fortnite…