Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Garbage

Senate Pulls All-Nighter for Trump’s “Totally Amazing and Not at All Problematic” Bill
Elephant Reads CNN

Senate Pulls All-Nighter for Trump’s “Totally Amazing and Not at All Problematic” Bill

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

Another day, another chance for the Deep State Democrats to try and sabotage our glorious President Trump! They call it…

AMC to Cram Even MORE Ads Down Your Throat Starting Today
Elephant Reads CNN

AMC to Cram Even MORE Ads Down Your Throat Starting Today

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

Oh, the horror! More ads at the movies? This is what happens when you let the woke mob run Hollywood!…

Wolfie’s New Album: So Fresh, It’s Basically Still in Diapers
Breaking, Music News

Wolfie’s New Album: So Fresh, It’s Basically Still in Diapers

Chord F. DiscordJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

In a riveting exposé with Ronni Hunter from the intellectual powerhouse known as 99.7 The Blitz, Wolfgang Van Halen, the…

Warren Buffett Dumps $6B Worth of Berkshire Stocks Like They’re Hot Garbage
Elephant Reads CNN

Warren Buffett Dumps $6B Worth of Berkshire Stocks Like They’re Hot Garbage

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Oh, look, Saint Warren is at it again! Giving away billions like it’s Monopoly money. Of course, it’s all going…

Wall Street’s Gone Wild: Stocks Soar While the Dollar Takes a Dive Off a Cliff
Elephant Reads CNN

Wall Street’s Gone Wild: Stocks Soar While the Dollar Takes a Dive Off a Cliff

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

CNN, still pushing their leftist agenda, reports that the stock market is doing great. Of course, they fail to mention…

5 Things You Simply MUST Know or the Terrorists Win (June 30 Edition): Idaho, Trump, Moose Land, Evil Empire, and Jailbirds on the Loose
Elephant Reads CNN

5 Things You Simply MUST Know or the Terrorists Win (June 30 Edition): Idaho, Trump, Moose Land, Evil Empire, and Jailbirds on the Loose

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Well, well, well, look what we have here! The Deep State’s propaganda arm, CNN, is still churning out the same…

HATEBREED’s WAYNE LOZINAK Plans Brain Tumor’s Eviction Notice ASAP
Breaking, Music News

HATEBREED’s WAYNE LOZINAK Plans Brain Tumor’s Eviction Notice ASAP

Chord F. DiscordJune 29, 2025June 29, 2025

So, apparently, HATEBREED’s Wayne Lozinak, the guy who shreds (or at least pretends to) on guitar, had a little something…

Trump Promises TikTok Savior Reveal in a Whopping ‘Two Weeks,’ Again
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Promises TikTok Savior Reveal in a Whopping ‘Two Weeks,’ Again

Big ElephantJune 29, 2025June 29, 2025

Oh, CNN is reporting that President Trump, the REAL President, is working on a deal for TikTok? You know, that…

Anime Expo 2025: Prepare for Disappointment—Netflix, MAPPA, and the Usual Suspects ATLUS/SEGA
Breaking, Games News

Anime Expo 2025: Prepare for Disappointment—Netflix, MAPPA, and the Usual Suspects ATLUS/SEGA

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 29, 2025June 29, 2025

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! 🎉 The SPJA (whoever THEY are) finally dropped the Anime Expo 2025 schedule! Prepare…

Travis Decker’s Great Escape: Is He Sipping Margaritas or Just Really Good at Hide-and-Seek
Elephant Reads CNN

Travis Decker’s Great Escape: Is He Sipping Margaritas or Just Really Good at Hide-and-Seek

Big ElephantJune 28, 2025June 28, 2025

Another day, another tragedy, and the liberal media is all over it, probably blaming Trump somehow. This time, it’s about…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 32 33 34 … 40 Next

Latest posts

  • LEGALIZER: Midnight Munchies Meet Federal Cereal Police
  • Republicans Face Trouble Due To Educational Divide Apparently
  • Midwest Suddenly Matters To Politicians Again
  • Florida University Stadium Nearby Shooting Casualties Total 11
  • Catholic Church Throws $800 Million At Problem It Hadn’t Fixed

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.