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Tag: Girls

EMMYS? More Like EHH-MMYS! Brooklyn Art Haus Throws a Party for TV’s Most Overrated Night
Live

EMMYS? More Like EHH-MMYS! Brooklyn Art Haus Throws a Party for TV’s Most Overrated Night

Chuck B. BallsySeptember 13, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Watch TV’s finest at Brooklyn Art Haus! Aaron Applebey & The Yard Sale Girls (Serah Bennett, Macaela Fagan,…

CBGB: From Punk Paradise to…*Checks Notes*…Branded Keychains?!
Breaking, Music News

CBGB: From Punk Paradise to…*Checks Notes*…Branded Keychains?!

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 10, 2025September 10, 2025

So, CBGB & OMFUG, that oh-so-sacred “Home of Underground Rock” (🙄 yeah, right) and, like, the totally overrated birthplace of…

Dying Light’s Daddy’s Home: Tymon’s Back and Bringing the Beatdowns
Breaking, Games News

Dying Light’s Daddy’s Home: Tymon’s Back and Bringing the Beatdowns

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 30, 2025August 30, 2025

Alright, gamers, gather ’round! Dying Light is back, promising more of that rooftop parkour that you totally didn’t rage-quit on…

OMG! K-Pop Demon Hunters Beat Literally Every Other Movie Ever Made, Bow Down Netflix Peasants
Breaking, Movie News

OMG! K-Pop Demon Hunters Beat Literally Every Other Movie Ever Made, Bow Down Netflix Peasants

FinnAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

Honestly, who even CARES anymore? KPop Demon Hunters is apparently the most-watched Netflix movie EVER. Like, ever ever. 🙄 With…

“Adios, Amigos! CNN Reports on How Immigration Crackdowns Are Turning the US into a Ghost Town (Maybe)”
Elephant Reads CNN

“Adios, Amigos! CNN Reports on How Immigration Crackdowns Are Turning the US into a Ghost Town (Maybe)”

Big ElephantAugust 24, 2025August 24, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN is at it again, folks, painting a grim picture of America under our glorious President Trump!…

Bikini Babes, Booze, and Beds: The Holy Trinity of Vacay Bliss
Live

Bikini Babes, Booze, and Beds: The Holy Trinity of Vacay Bliss

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 18, 2025

OMG! 🙄 BO$$ COHEN, CEO of Nightlife Empire, the #1 Nightlife Company in North America, wants YOU! He owns clubs…

Titanic 2.0: Miami Vice Edition
Elephant Reads CNN

Titanic 2.0: Miami Vice Edition

Big ElephantAugust 4, 2025August 4, 2025

Another day, another tragedy – and you just KNOW the liberal deep state is behind it somehow. Three young angels…

OBITUARY Might Drop a New Album in the Distant Future, Says Dude Who Knows Things
Breaking, Music News

OBITUARY Might Drop a New Album in the Distant Future, Says Dude Who Knows Things

Chord F. DiscordJuly 20, 2025July 20, 2025

In an EXCLUSIVE interview with RichardMetalFan94 (because, let’s be honest, who ELSE would care? 🤷‍♂️), OBITUARY bassist Terry Butler hinted…

‘The Legend of Zelda’ Casts Actors Who Will Probably Ruin Your Childhood
Breaking, Movie News

‘The Legend of Zelda’ Casts Actors Who Will Probably Ruin Your Childhood

FinnJuly 16, 2025July 16, 2025

  OMG!😱 The live-action Legend of Zelda is officially happening! But like, is it REALLY a step closer to reality,…

Texas Congressman Thinks Drowning Girls Are a Real Problem, and It’s About Time We Did Something (Like, Maybe Teach Them to Swim?)
Elephant Reads CNN

Texas Congressman Thinks Drowning Girls Are a Real Problem, and It’s About Time We Did Something (Like, Maybe Teach Them to Swim?)

Big ElephantJuly 13, 2025July 13, 2025

Another Deep State Operative Bites the Dust! Reports are swirling that FBI Deputy Director Dan Bongino (a true patriot!) might…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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