Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: HELP

US Munitions Stockpile Warnings Suddenly Become Totally Not Ignorable Thing
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

US Munitions Stockpile Warnings Suddenly Become Totally Not Ignorable Thing

Big ElephantJuly 27, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Just days before the Iran war began, Joint Chiefs of Staff…

Ubisoft churns out more Far Cry at its new remake factory Vantage Studios
Breaking, Games News

Ubisoft churns out more Far Cry at its new remake factory Vantage Studios

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 27, 2026July 27, 2026

Oh joy, another Far Cry game is on the horizon, because what the world really needed was another open-world FPS…

Florida to Break Record for Most Productive Killing Day Ever
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Florida to Break Record for Most Productive Killing Day Ever

Big ElephantJuly 26, 2026

Well, folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Two death row inmates in Florida are set to be…

Robots judging us now totally a normal thing apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Robots judging us now totally a normal thing apparently

Big ElephantJuly 26, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Imagine walking around with tiny recorders and cameras clipped to your…

Graham Proudly Claims War Mongering As Greatest Achievement
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Graham Proudly Claims War Mongering As Greatest Achievement

Big ElephantJuly 26, 2026

I’m sitting here sipping my coffee, reading about the latest documentary footage featuring the late Sen. Lindsey Graham, and I…

Lindsay Clancy Trial Begins With Mother Accused of Unthinkable Tragedy
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Lindsay Clancy Trial Begins With Mother Accused of Unthinkable Tragedy

Big ElephantJuly 26, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The trial of Lindsay Clancy, the Massachusetts mother accused of murdering…

Pär Sundström No Longer Pretending Sabaton Has New Ideas
Breaking, Music News

Pär Sundström No Longer Pretending Sabaton Has New Ideas

Chord F. DiscordJuly 26, 2026July 26, 2026

Oh boy, are you ready for some mind-blowing news? 😲 SABATON’s bassist and manager, Pär Sundström, just spilled the beans…

Technology Finally Notices Forgotten Dead People Too
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Technology Finally Notices Forgotten Dead People Too

Big ElephantJuly 25, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The story of “Chelsea Jane Doe” is finally closed after 26…

Luxury Ice Cream Now Affordable Only To The Extremely Wealthy
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Luxury Ice Cream Now Affordable Only To The Extremely Wealthy

Big ElephantJuly 25, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems that people are willing to shell out $15 for…

Addict Turned Patriot Still Manages To Pay Bills On Time Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Addict Turned Patriot Still Manages To Pay Bills On Time Somehow

Big ElephantJuly 25, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Ian Pfister, a self-proclaimed First Amendment auditor, is making a name…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 37 38 39 … 91 Next

Latest posts

  • Trump Drops Bombshell Evidence Biden Actively Campaigned Against Him
  • Raconteurs Unveil Broken Boy Soldiers 20th Anniversary Vault Package
  • Democrats Use Epstein Victim’s Family in Slick New Ad Campaign
  • Doechii, Phoebe Bridgers, Fontaines D.C. Top Primavera Sound Anniversary Bill
  • Biden and Trump Unite For World Peace Apparently

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.